Multi-tasking rudeness

Manners are manners; why should you chuck them out at the check-out counter?

WHEN I was growing up, the importance of good manners was drummed into me by my mother.

“Get your elbows off the table! Don’t eat with your mouth open! Stop slouching in your chair! Say ‘Excuse me’ whenever you burp!” she would command at meal times.

Indeed, any noise or movement that might have indicated that my siblings and I were living, breathing creatures was frowned upon.

Being well-mannered in the house was one thing, but when we went out in public, things would escalate.

“Say ‘Hello’ when someone greets you! Say ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’ when someone offers you something or does something for you! Don’t be greedy and take the biggest portion when you’re offered something to eat! Be polite to everyone you interact with, whether it’s the butcher, the baker or the candlestick maker!”

Way back then, there were no handphones, otherwise I’m sure my mother would have had enough opinions about phone etiquette to fill a small book.

I can almost hear her saying: “Don’t be an idiot and use your phone while driving! Never bring your phone to the dinner table! When you’re interacting with others, it’s plain rude to take a call unless it’s absolutely urgent.”

Indeed, I’m sure my mother would have had something to say about the current telephone etiquette debate that has many people talking in Britain. The cause of the debate? A supermarket checkout worker who refused to serve a woman who was talking on her handphone. Both the supermarket employee and the customer are accusing each other of being downright rude.

The supermarket apologised to the customer and even offered her a £10 (RM47) voucher, but it then went on to contradict this initial gesture by privately offering its full support to the worker involved.

An acquaintance of mine, who is both an ardent shopper and an ardent telephone user, had this to say about the incident: “Supermarket cashiers are employed to scan my purchases, process my payment, give me my receipt and answer any questions that I might have during the process.

Why should I have to engage with them or even stare mutely at them, if I don’t have to? If I have to take a call while they are doing what they are paid to do, what’s the big deal?”

These days, narcissistic, “me first” attitudes seem to be on the increase. The way I see things, if a telephone conversation is so important that it has to be answered or made immediately, it so obviously merits your full attention, and that simply can’t be achieved while you are doing something else. Besides, why would you want to talk about important things while at the head of a supermarket queue, where the shoppers behind you are privy to your conversation?

And even if you don’t mind others eavesdropping on your conversations, a growing number of people are getting fed up with the constant chitter-chatter, especially when the offending phone users speak in a voice loud enough to be heard several aisles away.

A journalist for a leading British newspaper concurred with my friend by saying, somewhat sarcastically, “I really don’t know what all the fuss is about. Women are great multi-taskers. Women are often praised for being great multitaskers. But apparently that doesn’t apply when we’re on our mobile phones.” Have I got news for her. According to recent research, people who multi-task the most tend to be impulsive, sensationseeking, overconfident of their multi-tasking abilities and tend to be less capable of multi-tasking.

The same research also showed that people who scored highly on a multi-tasking test tended not to multi-task as much as others because they were better at focusing on completing one job at a time. So I would be a little wary of announcing to the world that I’m a lean, mean multi-tasking machine. OIL palm is planted in a sustainable and responsible manner in Malaysia. Expansion of oil palm hectarage in recent years has mainly been on land converted from rubber, cocoa and coconut cultivation. Good agricultural practices such as zero-burning and the use of biological controls are common in oil palm plantations across the country.

Not that it’s that difficult to multi-task at a check-out counter. If you wanted to, you could clean the wax out of your ears and cut your big toenails while your purchases are being checked. That’s your right, but it still doesn’t make it right.

Despite the multi-tasking claims, I still think that it’s only good manners to acknowledge the people who carry out a service for us, whether they are a cashier, or a waiter, or the man driving the bus. Sure, they get paid for doing their job, but that doesn’t mean we should overlook them.

I know my mother would agree.

Check out Mary on Facebook at www.facebook.com/mary.schneider. writer. Reader response can be directed to star2@thestar.com.my.