Money matters

WHEn you’re in love, money should take a back seat. Or should it? Studies suggest that money is one of the top causes of friction between couples. As such, paying attention to this issue when your relationship looks as if it might become serious can help to prevent you from walking into trouble.

There are three typical sources of financial discord. First, if you have different incomes, one partner may feel he/she is paying more than his/her fair share. Worse, this unequal income may translate into unequal power within your relationship.

Second, you may have different spending patterns, like you being a saver and your partner a spender. Third, you may have different financial goals, like you wanting your own home while your partner feels a mortgage is the equivalent of a jail sentence.

As such, if your dating turns serious, it’s a good idea to have a money conversation. Ideally, it should cover these four areas. First, what is your attitude towards money? Is it a tool, something you need to live, or symbolic of your image or power?

Second, how do you see your financial life together? Would you live separate financial lives? If you do, how do you go about paying for rent, holidays and dependent family members such as old folks and kids?

Third, what are your financial life goals? This should cover savings, big ticket items such as mortgages and cars, and retirement dreams. Finally, what is your credit history like? If one or both of you have had debt problems, how did you solve them and what impact has it had on you?