The Dork Knight
BECAUSE even Batman isn’t immune to the occasional brain fart, here are five of his worst ... moments ... ever.
Nipple tickle
In the much-maligned Batman And Robin movie, George Clooney’s Batsuit had a couple of unwanted add-ons – a pair of rubber nipples that unfortunately went on to become the most memorable part of the entire movie.
Hitman hurl
Most of Batman’s fights tend to be fairly hygienic, but he had the unfortunate experience of ambushing Tommy “Hitman” Monaghan ( Hitman #1) right after the latter’s spicy Indian curry dinner. Let’s just say that after giving Tommy a good sock to the stomach, Ol’ Bats would have had to send that Batsuit right to the cleaners.
Bovine madness
While some inductions into the Bat Family in the past have been pretty questionable (Bat-Mite, anyone?), nothing beats the sheer battiness of ... Bat Cow! Introduced in Batman Incorporated (Vol 2) #1 by Grant Morrison and Chris Burnham, Damian Wayne adopted Bat-Cow after rescuing it from a slaughterhouse, and subsequently became a vegetarian because of it. Well, I guess we should be glad he never took the cow along on missions.
Bladder spasm
Even heroes succumb to the call of nature. Case in point – the Dark Knight experiencing, er ... a “bladder spasm” halfway through a speech to Gotham’s gangsters in Batman: The Widening Gyre #6 (in a scene that was meant to mirror one that was in Batman: Year One). Trust Kevin Smith to ruin one of Batman’s most iconic moments with this controversial ret-con.
Colour Crusader
Once upon a time, Batman actually was a little batty. With Detective Comics #241, you had to wonder what the guys in charge of DC Comics were smoking when they came up with ... the Rainbow Batman!
When Robin injures his arm during a fight, Batman decides that the only way to make sure no one can tie Robin to Dick Grayson is to wear different coloured Batsuits to draw attention away from his sidekick! And that’s not all – Batman eventually ends up in a multi-coloured rainbow suit, and becomes a “rainbow of dazzling action”.
Still, at least Rainbow Batman didn’t have rubber nipples, eh? Eh?– Kaleon Rahan