Empowering words
The Women’s Stories Project gave 13 women the space and support to delve into their traumatic experiences and tell their tales.
CHENG* cried for three days and three nights before she could put a pen to paper to write about her painful past. But once the floodgates opened, the words wouldn’t stop flowing.
It was the first step towards breaking out of her shell.
The Women’s Stories Project, an 18-month programme by the Women Centre for Change, Penang and Women’s Service Centre, Seberang Perai, took 13 women under their wing and got them to tell their stories.
The result is a 75-page book featuring excerpts from the writings of these women. They were all writing for the first time about how they have been deeply affected by childhood abuse, marital conflict, custody battles and violence.
“Encouraging them to talk is never easy, especially when they’re dealing with suppressed pain and experiences of trauma. It took some of the women over a year before they unearthed their deepset wounds. But when they finally did, they were surprised at how it wasn’t all that impossible to speak about those feelings and thoughts.
“The truth is, people do want to talk, if they feel safe enough to disclose and provided you give them the time and support,” says Chan Lean Heng, 63, who conceptualised, headed and facilitated the project from August 2012 to December 2014.
She also allowed the women to use pseudonyms to protect their identities so they could express themselves freely.
The women wrote in Chinese, but their stories were also translated into English. The book is available in Chinese and English.
Chan says that while many of the participants initially dreaded writing, they soon realised that it was a safe way for them to process their thoughts and come to terms with the load they carry.
“The project was more than just about getting the women to write. It was about creating a community of acceptance, of comfort; a safe place where the women could heal from the buried pain,” says Chan.
Using butterflies as the symbol of transformation, independence and freedom, the programme consisted of full-day activity-based workshops. There were also small group sessions to encourage in-depth sharing between the participants.
“While individual counselling was important for the participants, it was the group sharing that really gave them a headway into the healing process, to see and feel anew. Being able to read and share what they have written and discuss the issues that they were writing about really made the difference,” says Chan.
One of the participants, Hui Ming*, 46, says that her outlook in life has greatly changed since participating in the programme.
In she wrote about her troubled marriage which ended in divorce and her current battle for visitation rights.
“When I first joined the programme, I had trouble writing down how I really felt inside. I was so used to keeping everything to myself. It took a lot of courage but when I finally did it, all I felt was relief. The journey taught me to stand up to my own fears and I learned that anything is possible, if you put your mind to it. Seeing my own story published in a book was an incredible feeling. My biggest hope now is that my children will one day get to read my side of the story and understand why I did the things I did,” she says.
Little Grass*, 45, says that the programme has allowed her to reflect on her childhood trauma of being physically abused by her mother, and how that has negatively impacted her relationships in adult life.
In her entry, she wrote about the shock of discovering that she had taken after her mother and how heavy-handed she was in disciplining her own children.
“For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been negative. At one point, I even considered taking my own life. It was after I joined the programme and got to know the rest of the women and produced a book together that I realised that everyone has their own set of challenges.
“It is how you handle these challenges that matter. Death does not solve matters — it only brings pain to the people around you. When I slowly started changing my attitude, I noticed that the people around me changed too, and for the better,” she says.
Chan says that while the participants initially came forward for self-healing, they were soon motivated by the possibility of healing others with their narratives.
“For the first time, the participants felt like they were in a position to help not just themselves, but also other women in the same situation who might be suffering. They were greatly inspired by the fact that healing themselves meant healing others,” she says.
The women in the programme have since gone on to raise over RM50,000 for the Women’s Empowerment Fund through sales of their book and calendars showcasing their artwork (produced as part of the programme’s art as therapy approach). The fund would be used to support other similar women’s programmes.
Come March 8, will be officially launched as part of the Women Centre for Change’s International Women’s Day celebrations. Held in partnership with 13 other local women’s organisations and the Pg-IWD-2015 Organising group, the event will see a host of dance performances, games, talks and workshops carried out at Beach Street and the Whiteways Arcade in Penang (see sidebar).
According to Chan, the book publication initiative highlights the centre’s efforts in taking things a step further in helping to empower women.
“No one can claim to be able to empower others. It is about creating the necessary conditions so that people can be in a position to empower themselves,” she says.
Though it has been over a year since the programme ended, many of the women continue to meet. Some have gone on to volunteer with the Women’s Service Centre, helping to organise activities for the benefit of other women and children.
“A lot of people think that letting go is about forgetting and erasing the past. In actual fact, it is about acknowledging and understanding all that you have gone through and use that as a learning opportunity to help you decide how next to move on,” says Chan.
The Whiteways Arcade, Beach Street
11am to 1pm There will be readings from the book, a poetry reading, a choreographed butterfly and ombak dance.
The Whiteways Arcade, Beach Street
1pm to 5pm Join a mosaic-making workshop (pre-registration required) and catch a talk and short film screening on “Women as change makers”. There will also be a painting and photography exhibition featuring children’s artwork.