Making the most of a parent-teacher conference
PARENT-teacher conferences are often dreaded on all sides, and not just because the traffic is bad in the evenings, however they can be very useful.
Here’s how to make the most of them.
1. Go alone
Some schools want you to bring the whole family but the more people, the more chatter and the fewer specifics. Go alone so you have quality time.
Bring a list of specific questions if you have them.
2. It’s not personal
If your child is aceing maths and not faring so well at history, it doesn’t mean you’re a lousy parent or that the teacher is underperforming. Frankly, not every kid is great at academia and certainly not in every subject.
Discuss what can be done to improve matters, without making your child’s life a torture and without blaming anyone.
3. It’s sometimes personal
My brother’s French teacher once told me he was failing French and if I hadn’t checked the scores for myself I would not have known all the kids were failing and that he actually had the highest mark in class. Turns out, the Mam’selle loathed men on principle.
So, if a teacher sounds vindictive, be aware there may be other factors at work. They’re human and they’re not always nice.
4. Speak out
If there are personal problems going on, tell the teacher. If the cat has passed away or you have separated from your spouse, your child will be understandably upset.
This is when the teacher needs to cut a little slack so make sure you give her the heads-up. You need not go into the details, just a “We’re having a difficult time at home so please be gentle for the next few weeks” is sufficient.
5. Ask about the positive
Parent-teacher conferences can very quickly turn into blame and temper fests. If the teacher you’re talking to is only demanding changes for the better, ask what your child is doing right. After all, this is a performance review so credit must also be given where it’s due. And be sure to pass on the good news as well as the not-so-good when you get home.