Everyone fights differently
Knowing how each child acts out will help parents resolve conflicts.
BLENDED families, sibling rivalry, and just plain family misunderstandings can be hard to handle. By knowing the tendencies of each child’s dominant sense, you as the parent will be able to gauge what is actual nastiness and what is simply a misunderstanding brought on by age and sensory mismatch.
Often, it is simply your child’s sensory coping mechanisms that are at play, and by understanding and pre-empting behaviour, you will be able to help resolve conflicts between the ones you love.
Tactile children will tend to act out physically when they feel wronged. This means pushing, hitting, and throwing things.
Once that is done, they will tend to run away and hide, as they themselves are scared of their own physical response.
When out of hiding, they will require a cuddle to make them feel comforted. Use this cuddle as a time to talk calmly to them about what happened and to talk about alternatives to hitting, throwing, etc.
Make sure that the alternative you advise allows for a physical release. For example, you could suggest that when they get mad, they could go to the bathroom and splash water on their face. If they feel like pushing someone, they have to hop on their left foot 15 times or if they feel no one is listening, to walk around the room three times. This gives them physical action alternatives, and it gives you an idea of how they are feeling so you can intervene if necessary; and, of course, it also prevents nastiness.
Auditory children will tend to be verbally nasty, calling their siblings names and saying things like “I hate you”.
In the same way a tactile child will push first then regret later, an auditory child will speak before thinking, often hurling out a hurtful insult. They will then fall into a sulky silence, leaving the other sibling unsure of what just happened and why.
If they come to you, as the parent to solve the problem, it’s important to have them calmly explain to their sibling, the victim of the insult, why they were upset so that as they become older they are able to express their feelings without insulting others.
Taste and smell children can be ever so sensitive, crying at a drop of a hat and taking everything personally. This can be trying for siblings to deal with. If someone cries every time they don’t get their way, or they aren’t good at it, it can halt a game and ruin a play sequence.
Taste and smell children will run to mum first, needing a cuddle, and this can be misinterpreted by the other child as tattletaling, so it’s important to remember your taste and smell child is just needing a cuddle; it is also important to then separate the cuddle from an explanation about what happened. Once comforted, have them rejoin the game without getting involved, as this will help them learn to stand up for themselves and build their self confidence.
Visual children will be the masters of the mean glare, and the taker of the ball and figuratively going home. They can tend to be bossy, so when their sibling disagrees, they may be inclined to finish the game by either taking away the crayons if they are both drawing together or taking away the toys their sibling is playing with.
They will be acutely aware of when Mummy is watching and can antagonise and instigate an incident for when retaliation by the sibling can be seen by an adult.
When solving problems between siblings, remember there are two sides to every story, even what you think you just saw. When reprimanding the visual child, avoid doing so in front of others, the embarrassment will stop them from listening to you effectively. – Tribune News Service