The Star Malaysia - Star2

My hubby’s a selfish brute

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disclaims all responsibi­lity for any losses suffered directly or indirectly arising from reliance on such opinions and views. I HAVE been married for four years. My husband used to be a responsibl­e, caring and loving spouse. Two years into the marriage, I realised that we have very different views and priorities in life.

He does not plan for our future. He spends money freely and has no savings whatsoever. When he cannot settle his credit card bills, he will look to me or his mum for help. He has no plans for our honeymoon which is long overdue.

He is selfish and does not help with house chores. He leads an unhealthy lifestyle; he smokes, drinks, and plays computer games late into the night.

What’s worse, he always puts his friends first – he will cancel any weekend plans we have, to hang out with his friends. They take priority over me. He hates my family and friends.

I don’t think this marriage is working out as he takes me for granted. When things do not go as planned, he will throw a tantrum.

When I quit my job, he threw a tantrum. I realised he is not someone I can depend on. When I get into any trouble, I’m on my own.

I hate it when he pokes fun at me or humiliates me in front of his family members. Although they do not take it seriously, it hurts me.

We have stopped celebratin­g my birthday or our wedding anniversar­y, but he expects a holiday from me on his birthday. The last straw came when he threw a tantrum in public. I felt very hurt and humiliated.

I feel so lonely and depressed when he is around. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep.

I cannot leave him as he works for my relative. My relative is terminally ill and I am worried that my decision to leave him may aggravate my relative’s condition. I do not care what other people think of me, but I do not want to hurt the people who matter most to me.

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