The laundry cat
Our columnist’s cats snoopervise her actions and leave their scents behind.
GUIDO, our junior cat, is very easy- going. In fact, he’s so relaxed that he spends a lot of his time horizontal, lying flat on his back with his furry tummy exposed, secure in the knowledge that life is good. However, there is one thing that Guido is not happy about.
On weekdays his favourite human, the one the cats refer to as Tman when they post, gets up around 5.30. Guido enjoys that because it’s a time he’s wide awake, too.
The two boys hang out together and follow a strict ritual – another thing that cats love. For Guido, it means watching soap disappear down the shower drain, playing in the sock drawer and having his chin and tail rubbed. But then Tman drives away and that is something that our junior cat finds abhorrent.
So on Saturday when Tman gets up and goes upstairs, Guido is ecstatic. The people who say that cats are aloof should see our junior cat because he makes his emotions totally clear. First, he goes careering up and down the stairs, shouting, “Meow!” as he zips around. Then he lands upstairs on Tman’s desk and throws himself across the keyboard.
We are cat people so we know that once a cat decides to claim a spot, there’s no point in trying to change his mind. Tman therefore disconnects the keyboard so that Guido can lounge in comfort while his human works from an alternative console.
So Guido lies there in furry splendour, purring loudly. When I go upstairs to join them for a chat, our kitty squeaks hello and blinks slowly, the cat version of blowing a kiss. His purrs roar around the room and as I stroke him, ginger fur floats through the air, lightly coating the desk. If you could bottle this scene, you’d be bottling kitty heaven.
The really fun part, though, takes place on Sunday when Tman does his ironing. When I do mine, Target lies on the floor, claws out, ready to tug trouser legs and shirt sleeves, thinking it’s a pawsome game invented for cats. This is because Target is totally adorable but not the brightest bulb in the box. Guido has a different approach. Our junior cat takes up position on the dining room table. He keeps Tman’s spare socks there; it’s a special place where he naps during weekdays. On ironing day, Guido is surrounded by shirts and tees. Our pet has very clean paws, so we don’t mind when he steps all over everything. Then he rubs his face all over everything, and decorates the entire pile with a little sprinkling of fur.
When our friend saw a snapshot of Guido doing this, she squeed, as one does when seeing a handsome cat, and then exclaimed, “Guido is snoopervising!” She was right, of course, because cats are masters at overseeing us and making sure we’re doing things properly. However, there’s something else at work here.
When cats see the world, eyes are only part of the scene; cats have a sense of smell that’s far superior than ours. For cats, the world is a place filled with perfume. Their senses are so keen that they can smell a dish of cat food from across the room. They can even tell when you’ve changed your deodorant or laundry detergent.
Cats have their own smell, which they can recognise instantly. If your pet has his or her own rug or toy, and you secretly exchange it for another, they’ll know because the new version won’t have their scent on it. If you launder something, your cat may sulk furiously because you’ve removed their scent and, in a kitty’s world, that’s like saying, “This is no longer yours.”
The thing about cats is that they also create a signature “home” scent. They do this by rubbing their bodies against objects that they own ( the sofa, the rug, your book, you!) and, for extra goodness, they rub their cheeks over everything too. This is because cat cheeks contain glands that secrete your pet’s unique scent.
So when Guido is walking over his best human’s laundry, he is sprinkling fur and rubbing on his invisible perfume in order to mark the clothes ( and the man inside them) as his. It’s a secret kitty sign that says, “This human is part of my family.”
Guido is looking relaxed but behind that sweet smile is a pet who is making sure that the world knows he’s staked a claim on his best human.