Finding love, the ‘ halal’ way
This happily married couple – and now parents to a two- year- old – met through halal speed dating.
TALK about an unconventional method of choosing a husband.
Former TV broadcasting producer Munirah Tunai, 33, met her hubby via halal speed dating! It is a matchmaking session that encourages people to seek a spouse in a respectable manner.
It has been four years now and she is happily married to Zuhri Yuhyi, 35, a psychologist by training. They have a son, Zauq, who is almost two.
The couple have only gone on one date and it was on their wedding!
“Our first date – on our wedding night – was at Carl’s Jr, followed by a movie. It was the happiest and most comfortable feeling to be on a date with someone you’re already married to,” gushes Munirah in an e- mail interview.
The couple have gone into business together, co- founding Halal Speed Dating with two other friends Syed Azmi AlHabshi and Norhayati Ismail. The company’s first matchmaking event was in May last year. It was meant for 60 people but almost 2,000 registered to attend,
time to settle down
Pre- marriage, Munirah’s life was filled with a fulfilling career, quality time with family, travelling, outdoor activities and attending Islamic knowledge courses.
Even then, she thought:
“Wouldn’t it be nice to share all these with a like- minded special someone?”
At 28, with her career stable, she decided it was time to settle down. With that “objective” in mind, she put in her efforts and prayed.
Says Munirah: “I asked God to fulfil my wish and it was up to Him when and how to answer my prayers.”
Her decision was not spurred on by parental or peer pressure.
“It was my natural desire to get married,” says Munirah, adding, “It’s perfectly normal to want companionship and to be in love.”
But her religion taught her to do that within the sanctity of marriage.
“I did not want to be in a relationship where the decision to be married is subject to the other party’s readiness or wilingness. I wanted to skip the whole dating process which doesn’t guarantee mar-
riage,” explains Munirah.
“As a Muslim, I try my very best to do everything in accordance to the teachings of Prophet Muhammad and Al- Quran. Romance, I believe, can be fully enjoyed without risk of heartbreak within the sanctity of marriage and not in a boyfriend- girlfriend relationship. I just wanted to meet potential candidates who are mentally and emotionally ready to get married.”
Munirah only attended one twoday Islamic course on how to build a Muslim family. There was also an arranged marriage facilitation programme where the organiser invited men and women who were serious about marriage.
“I knew that was my chance. In short, that’s where I met my husband,” she says.
Munirah participated in two marriage facilitation programmes before meeting Zuhri in the
third one.
“I selected him in the second programme but he did not pick me then. It wasn’t a mutual selection so the organiser did not connect us. Only when we mutually selected each other in the third programme, were we connected,” she says.
Her minimum requirement was to meet someone who can converse in English.
“In one month of getting to know him, I admire his character and qualities. I was confident he was the husband material I was looking for,” she muses.
At the end of one month, she gave Zuhri an ultimatum.
She told Zuhri she was comfortable with him and found him suitable to be her potential life partner. She gave him a week to figure out if he felt the same way about her and if so, to arrange for their parents to meet. If not, they would part ways.
Munirah had her parents’ support and approval in her choice of husband.
“Parents know what’s best for their children, like how to build a stable and happy family. Children should trust in their parents’ wisdom.
“Getting married is not about being in love with your chosen partner. Marriage is more than just that lovey dovey feeling. It is about making the decision to commit to each other through thick and thin. This is the reality parents should impart to their children.”
Finding his soulmate
Where Zuhri was concerned, he did not give himself a deadline to get hitched.
“I just went with the flow. I told myself that if I meet my soulmate, I would leave it to destiny. I didn’t think we still have to put effort in looking for our destined soulmate,” he says.
When he hit 30, he felt strongly about starting a family.
“No one pressured me. When I declared my intention, my best friend told me that the Islamic method of matchmaking is the most efficient for marriage. After his explanation, I still couldn’t imagine marrying someone without dating her for five to 10 years.”
“I knew from the start that it wasn’t a magical solution the moment I attended these events. I persevered through three events until I met the right one.”
At these sessions, Zuhri felt awkward and nervous but was convinced it was “the proper way”.
Anyway, he didn’t meet his wife at the first and second halal speed dating matchmaking events; only at the third.
“Her mother was observing from afar,” he recalls.
“We emailed each other for a month after we were connected by the organiser. Our email interaction was observed by her parents, of course,” he says.
His expectations were not very high. “Looks alone is not enough. Piety comes first,” he says.
Zuhri also believes that religion is the foundation and the goal in life to strengthen the bond between husband and wife.
Initially, Zuhri was worried that Munirah might not find him witty.
“I want to find someone who appreciates my humour because humour helps bond a relationship.”
On how they build on their relationship, he explains: “We believe marriage is a perpetual journey of understanding. Happily ever after is not an ending, it’s only the beginning.”
Happily ever after is not an ending, it’s only the beginning. Zuhri yuhyi