It doesn’t hurt to be nice
WHY do you have to be so mean?
No, I’m no fan of Taylor Swift. But just borrowing a line from her song, which I feel reflects how some people react to stuff these days.
For example, there was a recent picture of the handsome chai walla (tea seller) Arshad Khan, 18, which went viral and resulted in the young man being plucked from obscurity and catapulted to fame overnight when he was signed on as a fashion model. He can’t read or write, and yet hopes to be able to support his 17 siblings with his newfound career.
While many swooned over his good looks, there were those who sarcastically commented that men who looked like him were not uncommon, and the Internet brouhaha was really much ado over nothing.
True, but then again, it’s all about timing, being there at the right time at the right place. Kismet, if you will. After all, Michelle Pfeiffer, as attractive as she is, would have been just another pretty blue-eyed blonde at the supermarket cashier and Jon Bon Jovi, a school janitor, if Fate had not intervened.
So why can’t we just be happy for someone who has had a good break? It’s no cost to us, gives us something to smile about and offers us hope that one day, maybe we too could land a good deal!
The recently concluded How Do I Look Asia (HDILA) series saw a number of young women being given that push to reinvent themselves and having a makeover by American celebrity stylist Jeannie Mai.
I found the last episode particularly touching as Taiwanese Amy Yu was reunited with her mother, after years of disapproval and rejection.
It particularly touched a raw note with Asians whose mothers can often be their daughters’ worse enemies, despite wanting the best for them as culturally, they are programmed to unwittingly tear their children down, as this supposedly would help strengthen them and instil humility.
It may have been just another great TV moment to boost ratings, but surely you can’t make up emotions like that. And while it was lovely to see Yu’s physical transformation, it was even more heartening to see her patch things up with her mum.
Yet some people took the trouble to pen mean things like: why both- er to change these women (hello, this is reality TV?); Mai was this and that, and how everything was so predictable.
Frankly, I’d rather watch a whole series of HDILA which talks of positive journeys, than be caught up in a single episode of catfights and back-bitching that’s on The Real Housewives Of Orange County (or wherever) or Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
This is, after all, entertainment news, which you have a choice to ignore or switch off. It doesn’t (shouldn’t) affect you personally. Yes, everyone has a right to an opinion, but sometimes it’s good to apply the old adage: if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Besides, not everyone is fortunate enough to get a happily-ever-after. The iconic Afghan Girl, made famous after being published in National Geographic in 1985, was recently arrested for having fraudulent identity papers and could face 14 years in jail.
Hailed as a symbol of the plight of the Afghan refugees during the war, Sharbat Gula had to resort to this to make ends meet as Pakistani authorities cracked down on thou- sands of illegal identity cards by foreigners, which makes finding jobs close to impossible.
The thing is, we’ve become so used to reacting to social media and fast news that once we’ve feasted on a piece of information, we move on. There’s so much negative news assailing us every day that it’s hardly surprising we’ve become hardened and cynical.
Quite often, we say whatever comes to mind, forgetting (or perhaps, don’t care) that what’s written or said in that moment in time, can affect someone else. It’s one thing to give constructive criticism, but why make a derogatory or mean remark just for the sake of commenting?
Which was precisely why my good friend John embarked on a personal project called “Senyum Sajalah” (Just Smile) three years ago as he saw an opportunity to create “a counterpoint to the pervasiveness of negativity in our world today”.
His photo exhibition captured smiling Malaysians and visitors to Malaysia whom he had met, and the stories behind those smiles.
To me, that speaks volumes as it’s about being able to see the beauty in another person, be it physical or otherwise, and sharing and celebrating a moment of joy with them.
Next year, he’s toying with the idea of “Senyumlah” Part Two.
I think it’s a grand idea, and we could all give it a headstart by smiling more and be kinder to one another.
Patsy firmly believes that you should play nice, if not Karma will eventually come back to bite you. Share your two cents worth with star2@thestar. com.my