Say no to animal accessories
Dogs are not meant to be carried around in a handbag.
A FEW years back, many luxury brands brought out a range of handbags that were big enough to accommodate a small dog. But not everyone stuck a pooch in these bags. Some women used it as an excuse to carry more stuff around with them.
You could see these women making their way to work every weekday, looking as if they were carrying at least a tent and a few deckchairs and a spare car tyre in their enormous bags. If they dropped their handphone into the bag by mistake, they wouldn’t bother searching for it. It would have taken too long to find it. It was easier to just go out and buy a new one.
These bags are beloved by chiropractors the world over. And no, they don’t use them to carry the tools of their trade when they have to make a house call. The heavy bags have caused a record number of women to seek professional help to relieve them of the onset of premature curvature of the spine.
But all of that is nothing compared to the harm done by putting a dog into a handbag.
Some people who knew nothing about taking care of a dog went out and bought a miniature pooch just so they could pop it into their bag and carry it around in public. These fashion slaves were basically treating innocent animals like a handbag accessory.
I’ve heard some of these dog-toting celebrities speak, and I get the impression some of them are incapable of taking care of a simple house plant for any length of time, never mind a delicate creature that requires a committed level of attention and care. Just because you have a knack for memorising lines and regurgitating them on command with a suitable facial expressions does not necessarily mean you have what it takes to look after an animal.
Sometimes, these doggie bags were so big and the dogs so small you couldn’t even see the poor little animal inside. But you knew there was one in there because the bag would seemingly move of its own accord when it was placed on a flat surface.
I used to wonder what these “handbag dogs”, as they are sometimes called, did when they had the urge to pee. Were they so well trained that they would resist the temptation to jump out of the bag, run across the red carpet and pee up the side of Hugh Jackman’s Armani-clad leg?
It’s entirely possible that they weren’t allowed to drink anything at least one hour before going out. All of this just to make a dumb fashion statement.
Fashion is an ever-evolving beast, and I did wonder what happened to all those canine accessories when their owners got tired of their big handbags.
One minute you’re attending all the red carpet events, being carried around in a Louis Vuitton special, and the next your mistress is toting a Chanel handbag the size of a postage stamp, and you’re left at home with nothing but an old bag for company. Even worse, you might be shipped off to the local dog shelter. There’s no point in yapping to the other dogs about your Vogue cover shot or the fact that you sniffed the butt of Lady Gaga’s dog at an Oscar after-party, because none of the other abandoned dogs are going to believe you.
“Keep away from that bitch!” they will tell each other. “She’s delusional.”
But I digress.
Sadly, a large number of miniature dogs have been abandoned by non-celebrities – people who try to emulate the lifestyle trends of their favourite stars. When a celebrity has had enough of carrying a dog everywhere they go, you can bet that their fans will also decide that they too have had enough.
In the past few years, there has been an increase in the number of toy dogs handed over to shelters or left stranded at the side of a road, sometimes in such a deplorable condition that they’ve had to be put down.
Have these people gone barking mad? Have they no regard for the life of another living creature? Most people wouldn’t even treat their designer handbags in such a cruel and callous manner.