Bringing up decent adults
I READ what Paul Singh, M. Kaur and Teacher Susan had to say about millennials nowadays, and would like to add my two sen worth.
(Readers Kaur and Susan commented on reader Singh’s question: “Are Our Millennials A Pampered Lot?” that appeared on Jan 21 in the Occasional Soapbox column. Available online at tinyurl.com/star2-singh.)
I am a baby boomer who has watched generations X and Y grow up, and who is now looking with bemusement at the millennial generation.
Most of us baby boomers are now grandparents to millennial grandchildren. And most of us would be retirees with time on our hands, so what better way to spend that time than looking after the grand kids. But, of course, grandparents being grandparents, most would spoil the grand kids silly, letting them get away with anything. I have seen children just four or five years old shouting at their grandparents. Did the old folk reprimand them or at least tell them it is ill mannered to do that? Not only did they not but some even laughed.
What do you think those kids will grow up like? Your guess is as good as mine – but then again, maybe not, maybe some grandparents and parents do not see anything wrong with such behaviour. Why would adults tolerate this behaviour? Maybe – and this is just my two sen worth again – those parents were brought up with strict discipline. So maybe they think, “Aiya, no need for us to do the same lah, after all, it is a modern and digital age now. Let’s just be free and easy with the kids.” And they throw caution to the wind, not realising the consequences of doing so.
Once I was at an event where everyone was shaking hands and saying hello to each other. I stretched my hand out to a cute boy who looked about five or six years old – and he stuck his tongue out at me instead of his hand, and made some rude noises. What did his parents do? Nothing much. Except to say, “Shake lah uncle’s hand, aiya why don’t want, haha (insincere laugh)”. l could not help but say, “That’s not a very nice thing to do” before I walked away. The rest of the evening, the parents avoided me, maybe thinking I had been rude to their cute little boy.
Of course there are well-mannered kids, but I have to say I think they are the exception rather than the norm nowadays. And the simple truth is that if a child can be so rude to an adult, that child is going to grow up to become a rude adult.
What about the news we heard recently about parents confronting teachers who disciplined their children? Yes, find out by all means what happened but not in such a confrontational manner that you end up assaulting the teacher! I don’t blame teachers who don’t bother with their students’ discipline and mannerisms – why bother when the parents are like that.
The saying spare the rod and spoil the child is not said for nothing. I am not saying caning should be the order of the day, and there are no hard and fast rules on how best to bring up kids, but surely applying the basics, ie disciplining, as and when needed and in the best way, would never be too wrong.
It is our responsibility as adults – parents and grandparents – to try our best to bring children up to be decent people at the very least.
Tiger Teh George Town