Loving unconditionally

Friendship through a student exchange programme blossoms into a long-distance relationship for this couple.

THESE days, not even friends would jump puddles for you, what more cross the seas.

But I did. Call me insane or stupid, I wouldn’t have cared at that point.

My mind was set on going – and I did. I managed to convince my lecturers, my dean, my mum and most importantly, my dad, to allow me to take my first solo flight to Bangalore, India, because I wanted to meet my friend, whom I had known for seven years through a student exchange programme.

I had some savings stashed away from working one summer with my uncle, and I decided to use my meagre salary on this round trip to India for my friend’s brother’s wedding.

I was excited about my first trip back there after seven years.

His family was one of the host families when I went there as an exchange student.

I was looking forward to having fun, meeting old friends, experiencing the Indian wedding’s fun and chaos.

Nobody but my college roommate knew the underlying reason I was dying to make this trip.

I had developed a liking towards my friend in 2015 when we had gotten reacquainted through WhatsApp.

He was studying in the United States, so we hadn’t met for seven long years.

In today’s society, many girls are growing bolder with their opinions and ideas, and many are often ground-breaking.

Although I am from a small Indian family, I wasn’t discouraged from speaking up but nonetheless it was “frowned upon”.

Breaking stereotypes, I confessed to him that I had started liking him more than just as a friend – just to get shot down from the sky in a hot spiralling mess. He said it would never work out between us because of the distance.

I couldn’t disagree with the guy but to quote Selena Gomez, the heart wants what it wants. Luckily, a year later I was on my way to sunny India.

With no expectations in mind, I was greeted with a warm hug at the airport. He took me in and treated me like family.

There was no awkwardness even though I was the one who made the first move.

He made me feel so comfortable that I think our friendship was renewed (if there is anything of the sort).

We had the best 10 days of my life roaming the streets of Bangalore, eating snacks and managing the wedding works.

Somewhere amid all those bike rides and wedding talk, something happened.

He fell in love with me but didn’t express himself then because he wanted to make sure it wasn’t transient.

After a painful goodbye at the airport, I was once again separated from the man I so dearly love.

A few months after that, in Sept 2017, he proposed to me during a surprise voice call and I cried as I said yes.

Since then, we have been together, though not physically. I have not met him in 635 days since the wedding in 2015 and I wonder why people take love for granted.

We have done numerous virtual “dates” where we both sat down in front of our phones to enjoy a meal together in spite of the 14-hour time difference.

We have made sacrifices for the responsibilities we have as adults, students and children.

Due to shipping costs and taxes, we cannot afford to even share gifts as compensation for not being able to be with each other.

Together, we’ve celebrated the new year, anniversaries, graduations and birthdays, with him “virtually hugging” me through the phone to make up for the fact that we’re unable to meet just yet.

We are working so hard to keep our long-distance relationship going. And yet we hear of so many couples who take each other for granted, and squabble over small matters.

My boyfriend and I yearn to just hold hands and sit on the beach, staring at the moon.

I wish couples who could be together would just cherish and be kind to one another. Love unconditionally, for it’s the only way to love.