Epitome of strength

A tribute to a great-grandmother who defied the odds to single-handedly raise a large brood.

MY GREAT grandmother, Pushpam Jothi Joseph née Pillai, affectionately known as “Amma” to all our family, passed away on March 4 at the grand age of 93. With her passing, she left a void in our lives.

As a woman who was married at the age of 16, she had to grow up before her time. Then, being widowed at the age of 40, she aged before her time. She raised nine children by herself and cared for her six grandchildren with the athleticism of someone half her age, piggybacking them to and from school.

Growing up with her, I was inspired to see a woman unafraid and living her life like there was nothing to lose.

As her first great-grandchild who is honoured and blessed to bear her name, I saw a matriarch who needed neither a throne nor a crown because she held her head high and, defying the odds, she raised a family. She was the epitome of strength.

My amma always reminded me of an eagle. Here is why.

Eagles love the storm. They let the storm lift them high above the clouds – and that is what she did. No hardship ever kept her down and, through the tempest, she would rise like an eagle through prayers and her faith in God. She taught us life is more than our struggles and, with the many battles she faced and won, she truly was like an eagle.

Eagles never give up. There is a myth that as the eagle’s body starts to get worn out, they knock off their own beak, pluck out their talons and feathers, and regrow all those parts to survive. Those who knew amma knew how giving up was the last thing on her mind. Her age was never a hindrance. She did the Sunday crossword and word searches and read to her heart’s content, though her eyes were growing dim. She never gave up even to the end but more importantly she never gave up on anyone; if you were fortunate enough to know her, you know you had someone great in your corner. For the belief she had in humanity, through life’s ups and downs, she truly was like an eagle.

Eagles nurture their loved ones. No one is neglected. Even the most cowardly eaglet eventually learns to fly, thanks to its mother’s persistence. Amma raised three generations of children and did so single-handedly. Like an eagle teaching her young to fly, she carries her child on her back and flies high. She then leaves the eaglet mid-air so that it learns what its wings are for. She encouraged independence and helped every one of us mature until our “wings” were strong enough to enable us to soar. It is my humble view that my great-grandmother represents the gold standard of motherhood and womanhood. For her persistence and for the potential she saw in us, she truly was like an eagle.

Eagles are wise, and calling amma wise is an understatement. She had these sayings to go along with her life lessons; one that we all remember is “Little drops of water make a mighty ocean” – and what a mighty ocean of wisdom and strength she left behind. Of all that she imparted, we’re especially grateful for the love she freely gave us.

The eagle has flown for the last time – but what a flight it was.