The Star Malaysia - Star2

Find meaning in what you do

It’s important to disconnect from the fixation of getting something done and to make room for the meaning or joy we find in our experience.

- Sandy Clarke

TO quell the busyness of the Christmas break, I decided to spent time with my guitar and write some songs as a form of SELFTHERAP­Y. I’ve had guitars close to hand from the age of 16 and they’ve provided some much-needed calm whenever I’ve felt a bit overwhelme­d.

In my 20s, I began to play in bands and found real enjoyment writing songs and watching them come to life as musicians far more creative than I put their talents to work. I especially loved rehearsal sessions; they felt like mini-holidays. It helped that our studio had a hot chocolate machine.

During those days, I had bags filled with handwritte­n songs and poems. I’d often sit with my guitar, watching TV, when suddenly a line of melody or a lyric would pop into my mind. It wouldn’t leave me in peace until I put it to paper and, more often than not, it would grow of its own accord.

After a pretty busy 2019, I wanted to get back into that creative space, which was more joyful than anything else. Towards the end of the year, I sat down with the intention of writing some new material and ... nothing came.

I would sit and mess around with common chord progressio­ns and try variations that would make even the most liberal artiste blush. Nothing worked, and it frustrated me for days. And then I decided to watch Brooklyn Nine-nine (a police sitcom), instinctiv­ely falling back into the old habit of sitting with my guitar in my lap.

At that point, fresh ideas visited again as I stopped being so fixated on writing new songs. I had turned what was previously a comforting hobby into a must-do goal, which, ironically, centred on relaxation.

I was reminded of why I was able to write so many songs in those earlier years: I really enjoyed writing and never forced it. Of course, some of what I wrote never saw the light of day, but those awful pieces were just part of the process. I wasn’t trying to achieve anything except unwind by doing something I loved.

Quite often when we set intentions, we’re either too rigid or wildly optimistic – or both. When I was at college, two friends wanted to become film directors. One was determined to “break into the industry” by the time he was 30 and was driven by the prestige and potential fortune of such a career. The other just loved making short films and was rarely seen without a camera or a notepad in which he would write down ideas.

The friend who wanted to become the next Martin Scorsese didn’t quite make it, probably because he never got around to making a single production. My other friend is still going strong after 20 years, successful­ly showcasing his work at various film festivals and events. He’s yet to hit upon that jackpot feature film but that goal pales in comparison with his endless love for crafting stories.

The best piece of advice all three of us received from one of our lecturers was, “If the love or enjoyment of what you do isn’t top of your list, you’ll find it hard to keep going, let alone succeed in your career”.

This advice has always stuck with me. I believe that we will get more out of our ambitions if we are less goal-orientated and more focused on why what we’re doing is valuable to us.

Let’s say that two people want to be doctors. The first believes it’ll provide him with a high social status and a comfortabl­e lifestyle once he specialise­s. He feels it’s impressive to be called “Doctor”. The second person has wanted to become a doctor ever since one saved her father’s life. Even as a child, she understood the meaning and fulfilment that comes with relieving the suffering of others. To this day, she feels as though nothing would bring her as much joy and purpose in her life.

All else being equal, which of the two is likely to get the most out of becoming a doctor and, therefore, be the most effective?

Whether it’s our job, our hobbies, or ways to relax, it’s important to disconnect from the fixation of getting something done and to make room for the meaning or joy we find in our experience.

Without it, we become alienated from what we’re doing, which might lead to feeling demoralise­d and disengaged. The real tragedy of that is it can spill over into other areas of our lives.

Of course, when it comes to work, it might be difficult to enjoy our jobs but bringing in a sense of meaning – reminding yourself that you matter and make a difference – can inspire a sense of purpose, if not joy.

Most importantl­y, when you find the time to unwind and relax after a long day, savour the moments for what they are. Yes, they’ll reduce stress levels and increase your sense of well-being, but you needn’t aim for that. Your job is simply to get out your own way, enjoy the experience, and let it take you where it will.

Sandy Clarke has long held an interest in emotions, mental health, mindfulnes­s and meditation. He believes the more we understand ourselves and each other, the better societies we can create. If you have any questions or comments, email lifestyle@thestar.com.my. The views expressed here are entirely the writer’s own.

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Graphic: 123rf.com
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