No resolutions, no problem
IN my inbox from Women’s Health Magazine: “2022 is all about taking care of YOU!”, “Practice self-care through mindfulness: Find your joy”, “Make the most of your mornings: Own your morning”, “Discover the power of plants: Plant-based eating”.
Just reading all those makes me tired.
And the advertisements and commercials for gyms and weight loss gimmicks? No, thank you.
I won’t be making resolutions in the name of New Year’s Day. As we say farewell to 2021 and welcome 2022, I’m the same me.
I won’t give in to the pressure, and that is personal growth.
I do feel like I need to make changes. It’s just that I am always working on myself even when that progress feels sloooooooow.
The pressure to do more of this and less of that goes back to the beginning of time.
The ancient Babylonians are believed to have been the first to make New Year’s resolutions. Some 4,000 years ago, they honoured the new year, which was in mid-march when the crops were planted, by renewing their loyalty to the king and making promises to the gods to repay their debts.
Similar practices happened in ancient Rome circa 46 B.C. after Emperor Julius Caesar established Jan 1 as the beginning of the new year. And early Christians made the first day of the new year a time for contemplating past mistakes and resolving to do and be better.
In modern times, the increased commercialisation of New Year’s Day resolutions has moved them into secular territory, moving promises away from gods and instead focusing on self-improvement.
The pressure and guilt have been intense for me year after year. I was the first gym outsider at the gym. I was devoted to a new fad diet. I was dedicated to reading a certain number of books by a certain date. I was trying not to shop or spend too much time on social media.
But most of those changes were short-lived and therefore guilt-inducing.
In this new year, I’m the same me. And that’s ... good enough.
I don’t need the year to turn to inspire change, but that doesn’t mean I am not changing. In the past year, I started going to see more doctors for check-ups – nothing major, but I just wanted to feel my best.
I began therapy. So far, I’ve only made time for one online visit, but I will do more. Not because it’s a new year promise, and not because I need a whole new me.
Having crucial conversations with people, recognising when I need breaks, and actually taking them, are part of the changes I’m making. While I am trying to be a better listener, I’m also saying “thank you,” “I’m sorry” and “how can I help you?” more often. And I tell people I love that I love them, even if it’s weird. I give hugs and compliments and make small talk that shows I care – yes, even to strangers. This is how I spread love.
Most importantly, I look at my life through a lens of gratitude This is how I love my soul.
I’m good enough without setting and breaking promises or resolutions to myself about reaching a random checkpoint by a specific time. This is how I love me.