Blow your mind
Chinese singer Jackson Wang opens up about his struggles with mental health and why he thinks K-Pop will last forever.
IT’S a Wednesday evening at the 88Rising offices in West Hollywood, California, and Jackson Wang just got back from boxing.
It’s only his third day in the United States, and Los Angeles is especially sunny amid a spring heat.
But the Chinese star, who splits his time between China and South Korea, is not here to soak some rays, he’s very much focused on work – specifically his appearance at the Coachella music festival as part of 88Rising’s Head In The Clouds set on April 16.
He’s been prepping and rehearsing nonstop, all the while watching the view count rise – 15 million and counting – for his new single and visual, Blow.
Wang boasts a massive fanbase – 27.4 million followers on Instagram and 5.4 million on Twitter alone – and he’s sharing with those devotees one of the darkest moments in his life: the nervous breakdown that led to Magic Man, his soon-to-be-released album.
Wang reveals that the project was birthed after constantly feeling the pressure of not doing or being enough – ironic, considering that in the eight years since he began doing music, he has yet to take a vacation.
Mental health is at the top of his mind, and the K-Pop star wears his heart on his sleeve when talking about what led to the breakdown, and how he coped, as he details in this interview.
What’s it like working with 88Rising?
We’ve been working together more than four or five years. Now it’s totally family. We talk about work, yes, but we talk more about personal stuff.
Especially when it comes down on the creatives: What’s the strategy? What’s our next move? What kind of music do we want to put out?
Strategising together. Not just at work, like families.
Because working in this industry, honestly speaking, you have different emotions.
Mental health is so important in this industry, in every industry but especially this industry.
For me, as an artiste who travels around from Korea to China to all these different places, also working as a member of a K-Pop band and now I’m solo, everything’s different.
Last year, I had a mental breakdown, with depression and huge anxiety because everything changed around me.
It got to a point where I’ve been in this industry for eight, nine years, it’s always travelling; show after show; programmes; commercials; tours; it’s almost in a loop.
I started to feel lost. I didn’t know what more I could do or should do.
I didn’t even know who I was. I started drinking, but I was still working.
Growing up, I was in this family full of athletes. My parents were both athletes, national team athletes. I was an athlete, my brother was an athlete.
So I always said that if I had obstacles or stress in my life, the way that I deal with it is I’ll just overcome it.
I’ll find a solution, or I’ll always tell myself that I have to work harder. Maybe I’m not good enough, or I’m not working hard enough.
The reason why there was a breakdown was it got to a point that it was above that. I felt like maybe I just suck.
What triggered it?
Just everything. I was completely lost. I thought, “You know what? Maybe it’s time for me ...”
By the way, I never believed in talking to other people or to friends. I always solve my own problems when I’m stressed out, because what’s the point? It’s my problem. It’s not anyone else’s problem.
My producers, my team, my friends around me, they insisted on sitting down with me.
People have always told me, “You need a break. You work too hard, you need to chill for a bit. You need to recharge, to refresh, so you could come back inspired.”
I was worried that if I took that break, I’d be lazy forever. What if I can’t come back? I was worried about that.
We sat down and I didn’t know there was power in those words they shared. It felt so magical to me. It was magic. I never used to believe in that for all my life, then I accepted it.
Whoever I was in the past, whatever I had with all my music or whatever – me, Jackson Wang as a character, as an artiste, as a person – I wanted to leave that behind and start afresh.
Then we created the album called Magic Man.
Why do you think American audiences have embraced K-pop so enthusiastically?
Definitely put this in: K-pop is not good because it’s K-pop. K-Pop is good because it’s good music – it’s good quality.
There’s no such thing as American artistes. Yes there is, but at the end of the day, music is music.
The thing that matters is how many people can relate to that? That proves a lot of people can relate to K-Pop. That’s the answer, that’s what I think.
There’s an arena being built in Seoul specifically for K-pop music. Popularity of genres is always changing.
Will K-pop last forever? K-pop will definitely last forever. J-Pop will last forever. You never know what happens tomorrow, right?
To me, I personally think it’ll keep evolving. I just wish that entertainment has nothing to do with any other stuff, because entertainment is entertainment and is supposed to make people happy.
Artistes like BTS and Blackpink, I respect them in art. The direction that they’re going, me as an audience watching, I’m proud.
Blow is a new sonic direction for you. What inspired the sound?
I’ve been doing music for eight years and I’m always in a position that even daily, I’m exploring.
I used to not sing. I haven’t had a vocal lesson. I have zero experience in vocal lessons until this year.
Back in [Korean entertainment company] JYP, I was trained in dance. I was trained in rap. I was trained in martial arts. I wasn’t a vocalist.
But during the process, the journey, of me exploring and trying – with the help of the people around me, with 88, Team Wang, producers – they kept inspiring and encouraging me to try out new stuff.
I surprised myself, too. Oh s**t, this can be my sound. Or even hitting notes.
I kept training. It’s all about sharpening my “weapons” and absorbing all these energies around me, knowledge and information.
How do I turn all this stuff into mine? That’s my current status:
Blow and this album.
You’re big on fashion. How do you go about picking your outfits for big moments?
Anything that’s comfortable. We’re doing art; we’re entertainers; we’re supposed to have fun with it.
Because art itself is very personal. Fashion’s the same, it’s art.
So I take it easy and have fun with it. If tomorrow I feel like going out in pyjamas, I’ll do it.
Since you’ve been so vocal about mental health, do you have any advice for others who are struggling?
I can share my own experience, but it’s not a lecture or anything.
I can say being serious in the process of making art is good, but don’t lose the fun of it. When you have fun with it, you’re happy.
The second thing is, it’s important to have a circle of positive people around you. No matter how incredible you are as a person, as an artiste, if you have all these negative people around you, it’s going to break you, bring you down.
What are your personal goals and what do you consider success?
I hope one day I can make all my supporters real proud, and for my people in the East.
I feel like you’re already doing that ...
Not yet, I’m far from it. Does everybody know my music in the street, in Beverly Hills or whatever? No, right? That means I’m so far away from it.
Second, what do I want to be? Hopefully one day, I want to be the bridge to connect East and West.
People in the West know about East, East knows about West through Internet, or even through travelling or working.
But there are a lot of layers underneath that people don’t know.
I hope one day I can do my best to make that happen. – Shirley Ju/ Reuters