My heart sank while most cheered
A FEW days before Chinese New Year earlier this year, I almost had a panic attack in the middle of a supermarket.
I was looking for tang oh, a vegetable popular in steamboat, for my family’s reunion dinner, when throngs and throngs of people started pouring in.
Squeezing through the crowd of stressed parents – running children in tow – and aunties snatching up greens for their overflowing trolleys, I felt claustrophobic.
People were jam-packed against one another, forcing their way through to the veggie section, and the queues for each cashier counter felt miles long.
The air was stifling and I nearly started to hyperventilate but, thankfully, my boyfriend realised my discomfort and whisked me away.
Needless to say, no tang oh was bought that day.
The brief episode of sociallyinduced anxiety might explain why I have been feeling apprehensive about the easing of social restrictions that has seen the return of crowds in Singapore.
It has been nearly two years since I stepped into a large crowd. As the Covid-19 pandemic spread and offices shut down, it has been a luxury to be able to study and work from home, to be able to sit spaced away from others in eateries, and have no one sit next to me in the cinema.
So when the announcement came that Singapore – and most of the world, including Malaysia – would ease most of its Covid-19 rules in April, my heart sank while others cheered. Since then, limits to group sizes and workplace capacities have been lifted. Singaporeans also no longer have to keep to a group of 10 people for mask-off activities.
My peers celebrated the reopening of nightclubs and karaoke lounges, and welcomed buffets and concerts back with open arms. On Instagram, stories of friends flocking to bars for drinks past 10.30pm [the previous curfew] became commonplace.
Peak-hour traffic jams returned and hordes of people filled busy MRT stations such as Raffles Place and Serangoon.
As Gen Zers like to say sarcastically, nature is healing.
As for me, I hesitated, apprehensive about rushing headfirst into crowded areas where I used to gather with friends, Clarke Quay for instance.
Perhaps it is a legitimate fear of catching Covid-19, or an irrational fear of crowds and socialising.
I have not socialised in a group of more than five for two years and was worried about having to meet many of my colleagues for the first time.
As an introvert, my social meter became easily worn out. With talking to people from all walks of life as part of my job, I found I did not have much juice left to carry on with enthusiastic conversations with family or friends at the end of the day.
But speaking to others less vocal in cheering the world’s reopening, I realised I was not the only one feeling thus.
One colleague felt the change in rules was too sudden – we drastically changed our lifestyles for two years and it’s now back to “normal”, but also not the normal we knew.
Dr Adrian Wang, a psychiatrist in private practice in Singapore, says that since Covid-19 restrictions were relaxed, he has seen a 10% to 20% increase in patients experiencing anxiety about the reopening. This includes going back to the office and having to face peak-hour crowds on public transport.
“These patients have spent the last two years successfully building this wall around themselves and avoiding stress. Patients with anxiety don’t tolerate changes well,” he says, adding that most of these patients work in financial institutions or in IT.
What could help, Dr Wang says, is to get back to work in a gradually paced way.
He has been writing letters to patients’ employers about adopting a hybrid system in which they work from the office some days a week and work from home the rest. The office days would increase over time.
“People need to seek help if it reaches phobia levels – for instance, if just the thought of going back to work triggers fearful feelings,” he says.
And it seems like the phenomenon of reopening anxiety has been felt by people around the world.
The American Psychological Association says that around half of the people polled for its Stress In America survey felt uneasy about readjusting to in-person interaction post-pandemic.
Social anxiety is driven by avoidance of social interactions, the article – published in May last year – says. Many of us have had low levels of social interaction for the past two years, compared with the Before Times.
A research paper published last June by Karger, a Switzerlandbased academic publisher, shows that the prevalence and severity of depression and anxiety among undergraduate students in Jinan, China, was greater during the reopening stage in January last year than at the peak of the pandemic in February 2020.
In March last year, The New York Times reported that returning to the classroom proved challenging for students. For some, schooling from home was a respite from bullying and social anxiety.
As for adults, the easing of Covid19 restrictions brought back greater unpredictability in life. Working from home provided stability for some, such as what time they were having lunch and dinner.
An Anxiety UK survey in March last year shows that while 37% of respondents were looking forward to returning to normal life, 36% were “quite happy to stay at home”. The remaining 27% had no strong feelings either way.
Through my anxieties about reopening, I realise not everyone has the privilege of working remotely. Frontline workers certainly do not have the luxury.
Therapist Andrea Maikovichfong told The New York Times that those who experienced relief during the pandemic were likely in higher-income brackets. By having jobs they can do remotely, they are able to remain employed but faced less stress than before.
With that in mind, I’ll approach reopening step by step. After all, fears and anxieties can be overcome with time and resilience.
Last week, I met many of my colleagues for the first time. And no, I did not disintegrate into a bundle of nerves like I thought I would.
Lively chatter filled the newsroom – a stark contrast to the cold, empty office I stepped into when I joined the newspaper full-time last June amid Covid-19 restrictions.
As I chatted with colleagues and put faces to names I’d seen only in chats or e-mails, I thought to myself: Despite my doubts, I’d choose the new normal any day. – The Straits Times/asia News Network
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