How we use our time depends on how we view time

ONE of the problems with the English language is that important words can often be insufficient to define the idea they’re attempting to describe.

Let’s take the word “mindfulness”. If you have even the slightest interest in mental health, you would have heard the word by now and it is most associated with Buddhist philosophy. And yet, “mindfulness” came from a British scholar who attempted to translate the pali word “sati” to English.

It’s thought that the translation was inspired by the Christian phrase “to be mindful in prayer”, but “mindfulness” was never a word used by the Buddha, and his definition of sati differs from how we understand the practice today.

Another all-encompassing word is “love”. In English, we use the same term to describe feelings of different magnitude. A love of cookies isn’t the same love we might feel for a partner. Hopefully, the TV series we absolutely love is much lower down the list than the affection we might hold for our grandmother.

The Greek language offers several kinds of love. Some examples are eros (passion and desire), philia (deep friendship), agape (selfless love) and philautia (love of the self).

The Greeks also had different notions of time. How we typically view time is in chronological order (chronos). We view time as sequential, and we base our planning, schedules and commitments according to this fixed order of time. On the other hand, the Greeks recognised time differs in terms of how we perceive important or influential events in our lives. This is referred to as kairos, which describes opportune or significant moments.

How we think of language is important because how we use it shapes who we are and how we relate to the world. Using time in the chronological sense is important for all kinds of reasons, but it can lead us to losing sight (and the cultivation) of the meaningful moments that enrich our lives.

If we can use more of our time in terms of kairos, it can help us to be more present and make the most of what makes our lives worth living. Kairos also offers the stark reminder that life is ever-changing and nothing is guaranteed – not even time itself.

For example, my father is 70. If he lives until the age of 85 and I visit him once every three years, I can count on one hand how many more times I get to see him. I don’t have 15 chronological years – I have five more visits. This drastically changes how I might value the time we have together.

If you have young children, you’ve probably been told to cherish them while they’re young because there will be a last time when you carry them to bed and you won’t know it.

Kairos also calls on us to be mindful of important events such as job interviews, exams and marriages. These significant life events ask us, “Are you prepared? Are you putting the work in?” We are, in a nutshell, reminded that our time doesn’t come in equal measures – we need to be careful how and where we spend our attention.

But how do we become more present to a kairos mindset? Allow me to share a few questions I regularly reflect on, which help keep me in touch with this perspective. I don’t always get it right, but I have noticed some positive changes over the past few months.

How much time in a day are you doing something that’s meaningful to you?

This can be something small like making sure to check in on friends or taking steps towards shifting behaviour.

I’ve recently been accepting more social invitations and, while I can feel drained by socialising, I now realise the pleasure of connecting more with friends far outweighs any downsides (though I still have my limits!).

What would you do if you knew today was your last day?

Is it really so bad to have that ice cream? Can those emails wait while you go for a walk in the park and enjoy the sun? None of us is guaranteed another day – and nobody will care how efficiently you completed your tasks. Work is important. Checking in with life is more important still.

What do you dread doing?

Reflect on whatever detracts value from your life that you can afford to do less of. What activities are eating up your time? If you find scrolling through social media is draining your energy, how else could you use that time in ways that will uplift you?

How often do you do nothing?

A good friend of mine shared that she makes time in her schedule to “do nothing”. Of course, we all lead busy lives but if we don’t protect some of our time, others will always make quick use of it.

Even pockets of doing nothing can be beneficial. For example, the next time you get in your car or sit at your desk, take a few moments to just sit and enjoy your breath before carrying on with the task at hand.

Sandy Clarke has long held an interest in emotions, mental health, mindfulness and meditation. He believes the more we understand ourselves and each other, the better societies we can create. If you have any questions or comments, email lifestyle@thestar.com.my. The views expressed here are entirely the writer’s own.