LUST AT FIRST SIGHT

One in four men in Britain believe in ‘love at first sight’.

WHEN it comes to falling in love, it seems that most men can usually tell if it’s “the real thing” after just one date. Like how scary is that? I mean to say, how can you tell on a first date if you’re even getting the real deal?

Imagine, if you will, the following first date over a candle-lit dinner.

Woman sits down and flicks her hair seductively.

Man, staring at her across the table: Wow! She looks so beautiful when she does that.

Woman: I think he’s noticed my hair. Spending the entire afternoon in the salon was really worth it. But all that hairspray and gel sure is making my scalp itch.

Man: Wow! I didn’t notice how big her eyes were the first time I saw her.

Woman: Maybe the eye makeup was a mistake. If my contact lenses start irritating me and my eyes start running, I’ll probably end up looking like something out of a vampire movie.

Man: Wow! Her skin looks so soft.

Woman excuses herself, sucks in her stomach and walks towards the restroom: I’m sure he must be checking out my butt right about now. I hope I can walk straight in these new shoes.

Man: Wow! She has a cute butt. And nice legs, too.

Woman returns to the table and flicks her hair again. Man: Wow! I really like her. Woman, after studying the menu for a while: I wish he wouldn’t keep staring at me like that. It’s beginning to creep me out a little.

Man: Wow! She looks so cute when she cocks her head to one side when she’s reading the menu.

Woman, after ordering: “So tell me about your work.”

Man: Wow! Not only is she beautiful, but she’s also interested in my work. Woman: “What do you do?” Man: “I’m a mortuary technician.”

Woman, her mascara-heavy eyes wide open with surprise: Oh my God, he’s a mortuary technician! I wonder if he washed his hands after he finished work.

Man: Most women freak out when they find out about my line of work, but she looks really impressed.

Woman, smiling nervously: I hope he doesn’t try to kiss me later. Mortuaries are full of bacteria. They must be everywhere, including on his lips.

Man: The way she’s looking at me, I can tell she has the hots for me. If things continue to go like this, I might try to kiss her on the lips later.

Woman: This is not going that well. I need to come up with a plan to get out of here.

Man, excuses himself and goes to the restroom. He doesn’t suck in his gut or even think about the sort of impression he is making with his butt.

Woman quickly calls a girlfriend: “Please call me in 10 minutes and tell me that my mother is sick.”

Man, returning from restroom: “Ah, the food’s here. I’m starving.”

Woman: I wonder if he washed his hands.

Man: She doesn’t seem to be eating much. I like a woman who takes care of her figure. Woman’s handphone rings. Woman excuses herself and takes the call: “Oh my God! Vomiting and a high fever? She’s asking for me? Of course, I’ll come right over.”

Man: It sounds like bad news. I guess I won’t be kissing her after all.

Woman: “I’m sorry but I have to go. That was a friend. It’s my mother.”

Man: She’s close to her mother. That’s nice.

Woman, standing up: “Please stay and finish your dinner. No point in letting it go to waste.”

Man: She’s thrifty too. Shame about the kiss.

Woman, calling her girlfriend from the car park: “Thanks! I owe you one.”

Man, calling a friend from the restaurant: “I think I’m in love. I just met the woman I want to marry.”

According to a British study carried out last year, nearly 25% of the men interviewed said they believed in “love at first sight” and knew whether a girl was “the one” within seconds. Women, on the other hand, tend to be a little more indecisive when it comes to matters of the heart, and will wait until at least the sixth date before making their mind up.

The research also revealed the average British man falls in love just over three times, while the average woman only falls in love once. Maybe if some of these men had taken their time before committing themselves emotionally, they might have “fallen in love” less often.

After all, there’s a huge difference between falling in love and falling in lust.

Check out Mary on Facebook at www.facebook.com/mary.schneider. Reader response can be directed to star2@thestar.com.my.