Locker room nudity
Most gym-goers have no qualms about showing off the bodies they have worked so hard to achieve. But just how much nudity is appropriate at the gym locker room?
THIS question has bothered me for years – it’s kind of funny, but at the same time, just about as awkward as going condom shopping with your mum.
Here’s the thing: Why do people walk around naked in gym locker rooms?
For as long as I can remember, going to the gym has been a constant in my life.
Whether it’s killing an hour of spinning class or keeling over from wall balls, finishing a workout is always incredibly satisfying and rewarding.
It is no wonder that regular gym-goers have no qualms about showing off the bodies they have worked so hard to achieve.
But to saunter about in their birthday suits? Why?!!
Unfortunately, the routine preening over lumps, bumps and cellulite while revealing terrifying shocks of hair in unspeakable regions have become all too common in gym locker rooms.
These rebels routinely shirk the usage of a towel, curtains and changing stalls, preferring instead to air their privates or to towel themselves dry in public for your viewing pleasure.
Once, as I was putting my shoes on, a seasoned 40-something I met in Pilates class came up to me and started making small talk. I’m all for exchanging pleasantries, but it was a little hard to not get distracted when she had just her panties on.
Suddenly, the gym locker room becomes a racecourse of naked bodies from which I must dodge and navigate my way through while keeping a stoic expression. Most days, I try not to stare. Or wince. Depending on what’s on display.
Apparently, these exhibitionist tendencies are equally rampant in the men’s locker room. As my friend, Matt, shares his visual displeasure on a recent Facebook post: “Dear naked uncle in gym shower stall 3, the importance of closing the shower curtains on a scale of 1 to OH-MY-EYES is very high.
“Although I admire your ballsy act of exercising your right for transparency, at the expense of my libido, but let’s save it for the upcoming general election.
“Sincerely, traumatised young man in gym
Dear naked uncle in gym shower stall 3, the importance of closing the shower curtains on a scale of 1 to OH-MY-EYES is very high. Although I admire your ballsy act of exercising your right for transparency, at the expense of my libido, but let’s save it for the upcoming general election. — SINCERELY, TRAUMATISED YOUNG MAN IN GYM SHOWER STALL 2
shower stall 2.”
The funny thing is, and as my fellow gymgoers would tell you, it is often the senior citizens who don’t give a hoot about loafing around in the buff.
Maybe it is an age thing. I recently terminated my membership at a commercial gym, but in all my four years there, I’ve found that it is always the aunties who are most comfortable with nudity.
Then again, I suppose there is something just wonderfully liberating about letting it all hang. Maybe we just get more comfortable with our bodies as we age.
I can’t be naked for more than three seconds. On most occasions, I do that old wrap the towel around, remove my undergarments quickly, hop into the shower, and do the reverse out.
I don’t think I am in bad shape, but I’m no Rihanna, now. More importantly, I love my privacy.
In a way, I do admire these men and women for their free spirit. Especially those who are no longer the pretty young things they once were, and are yet absolved from all sense of insecurity that can plague even the most beautiful people.
God gave us one body and we should love and respect it. And well, as long as we’re not hurting anybody (besides your eyes), I suppose there is nothing wrong with shaking what your momma gave you at the changing room.
I just won’t be flashing any of my junk anytime soon. Maybe in 20 years.
Fiona Ho is a certified personal trainer and a CrossFit enthusiast who is infinitely grateful for closed cubicles and showers.