Spouses gather to give each other strength

PETALING JAYA: Melanie Antonio wears three rings on her ring finger, but the one in silver matters most to her.

“That’s my husband’s. We have been married for 21 years today. He missed our 20th wedding anniversary,” said the wife of MH370 lead steward Andrew Nari with a sad smile.

One year on, Melanie still finds it hard to answer question she is asked most: “How are you coping?”

“I don’t know how to answer that,” said Melanie at the first year remembrance of MH370’s cabin crew.

The housewife and mother of two says the journey has not been easy, even with people around her.

“I have had relatives and friends coming to me every day. The worst is when they tell you: ‘Sorry for your loss or my deepest condolences’. But they are just missing,” he said.

It took Melanie a year to be her normal self again, but she says the pain lingers.

“It is when you are alone at night that it hits you most. During the day, it is not too bad. There is the phone, the social media, the television is switched on and there are friends around,” she said.

Elaine Chew was among the quieter ones at the remembrance held at in-flight supervisor Patrick Gomes’ house but it was obvious that she had not got over her husband’s disappearance.

Elaine transferred her daughter to another school after her husband, flight attendant David Tan Sze Hiang, went missing with MH370.

“My daughter’s previous school often had family functions and I couldn’t go alone,” said the manicurist who was in a plain black blouse with beige long pants.

She said the six-year-old girl “knows her father is missing” and both of them were trying to move on. Chew has been married to Tan for eight years.

“Unlike many of the other spouses, I don’t work for Malaysia Airlines. We met through mutual friends at a casual party,” she said.

Pilot Kenneth Leong was in Hong Kong when he received news that MH370 carrying his wife, flight attendant Ng Yar Chien, had gone missing.

Malaysia Airlines arranged for him to take the first flight to back to Kuala Lumpur.

Yesterday was Leong’s first gathering with the spouses of other crew members.

“I took leave to come back and it’s good to see everyone after keeping in touch with one another through group chats,” he said.

Leong said he had relocated his two children to Hong Kong.

“I want to protect my children’s privacy and the school in Hong Kong was good in providing special attention to my daughter,” said Leong, who used to work with Malaysia Airlines.

He said the school assigned a special needs teacher to help his 10-year-old daughter.

While his daughter understands that her mother is missing, the couple’s youngest child, a six-year-old boy, is still oblivious about what had happened.

“He was with me at the hotel waiting for news of the flight, but he is too young to understand,” said Leong.