Peer support helped cyberbullying victim recover

PETALING JAYA: For three years, Peter (not his real name) suffered the emotional and mental torment of having his appearance picked apart by bullies on social media.

He was regularly called “pondan”, “black gay kid”, “loser”, “pussy” and “coward” on Facebook and WeChat, simply for having tanned skin and being soft-natured.

The bullying was so severe that the teenager, who was 13 when it started, went on a “digital detox” to avoid his tormentors, who were his seniors in secondary school.

“I was too afraid to log in to my Facebook and WeChat accounts as they were filled with harsh words.

“Some of them even brought my family into their ‘jokes’.

“Their words hurt me the most. They have no idea how it affected my social life,” he told The Star.

Peter, now 17, said he went into a state of depression and confusion for three years as a result of the cyberbullying.

Feeling isolated from society as he was ashamed of being “easily intimidated” by his bullies, he felt he could no longer trust anyone.

“I did not have the guts to tell anyone as I felt vulnerable.

“I could not even tell my parents because I didn’t think they could help me.

“The bullies also had connections with everyone (in school),” he said.

Peter said he eventually recovered from the ordeal and returned to social media, thanks to support from his closest, most trusted friends in school and church.

“The key is trusting the right people. My friends always had my back and kept me sane.

“I went back to social media to love myself, socialise and find inspiration.

“But I am more cautious this time,” he said.

Peter urged school counsellors and families to be more sensitive to changes in the behaviour of their students or children, as not everyone can easily open up about their problems.

Another survivor of cyberbullying, who wanted to be known only as Lance, 17, said he became suicidal after photos of him were posted on social media to humiliate him.

He had just entered Form One when the bullying started.

“They posted my photos on Facebook and WeChat with humiliating captions. They also called me names.

“While I was in Form Two in 2014, I was added to a group consisting of my seniors, who threat- ened to beat me up in school.

“I got really scared and didn’t want to go school. I cried at night because I was so scared,” he said.

Lance, now 17, said it took him weeks to recover from the first incident, during which he was consumed with thoughts of suicide.

The teenager suffered through three more years of cyberbullying before things got better.

He also urged parents and teachers to be more observant to detect the suffering of bullied students.

The Education Ministry recently released guidelines on social media etiquette for students and teachers.

Cyberbullying is one of the main targets of the new regulations, with bullies liable to be hauled up and disciplined for infractions such as spreading lies and rumours or sharing embarrassing photographs of their fellow students.