MeToo hashtag an eye-opener

OVER the past few days, social media, and in particular Facebook, has been flooded with the MeToo hashtag or #MeToo.

For those not in the know, #MeToo is an avenue for women all over the world to show that they have experienced some form of sexual harassment or assault. This followed the news that Harvey Weinstein, a powerful Hollywood mogul, had been expelled from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences over multiple abuse allegations.

Social media then came alive with #MeToo to show that sexual abuse is far more common than we think or know.

For me, it has been extremely disturbing, alarming and shocking to see many people I know sharing their stories at #MeToo. These people include former colleagues, close friends, cousins and acquaintances from various countries. These are people who have not given any thought to the fact that they have been sexually abused or assaulted. They have kept their silence – until now.

What is even more shocking, however, is the sheer number of people linking up with the #MeToo hashtag. One has to wonder as well how many women have been sexually abused or harassed who still don’t want to talk about their ordeal.

I applaud all the women who are standing up and breaking their silence through the #MeToo hashtag. I applaud even more the women who are giving examples of how they have been harassed and assaulted so that other women, and men too, will know it is not right.

There are many forms of sexual harassment. Even leering at women and making unwanted suggestive comments can be considered harassment. Catcalls and lewd language directed at women are the simplest forms of harassment.

While the common understanding of sexual assault is rape or molest or unwanted touches, it doesn’t always have to be physical. It can sometimes be mental and emotional, such as when the woman is made to feel inferior or subservient to the man. Even something as simple as an unwanted kiss among friends can be a form of sexual harassment or assault.

The accounts I read on the #MeToo hashtag include girls/ women being touched on trains or public transport, groped by boys at school (there is one of boys who kept snapping a girl’s bra), and fathers, uncles and other family members touching their daughters, nieces and even sisters.

It is very easy to ask why these girls or women didn’t say anything before. It could be because they didn’t know any better and thought that it was normal.

I am reminded of American talk show host, actress, producer and philanthropist Oprah Winfrey who said she was raped when she was nine. She said she didn’t know it was wrong and thought that was the way it was. Sadly, many women and girls go through life thinking that their abuse, assault or harassment is normal.

I admit that after looking at the broad picture, I too am guilty. While I have always prided myself in being a man who respects women, I too have had instances when I have made lewd comments and used suggestive language at women and excused it as being part of good fun.

There are times when a bunch of male friends gather together and talk suggestively about female friends. Again, we think it is in good fun. Now that I realise this could be taken the wrong way, I think I could have unknowingly harassed someone. For this, I apologise unreservedly and will try to be more sensitive. There is really no excuse for this behaviour.

For those of us who have daughters, we must teach them to be strong, resilient, and to know what is good and right and what is wrong. We must teach them to stand up to boys and to say no to protect their chastity and their sexuality, and to be comfortable with their sexuality as well.

We also need to teach our boys to respect and value women, and not to treat them as a plaything or object. We must teach our sons that women are equal to men and should be treated well at all times. If men respect women and always treat them well, there would be less harassment and abuse.

Let’s start today to make a difference. Let’s teach our sons to value, respect, honour and cherish women. Today, I stand with all the women who shared their experience in the #MeToo hashtag and pray that harassment and abuse will one day be a thing of the past.

DHARM NAVARATNAM Kuala Lumpur