Help others by doing your job

I REFER to the letter “Surviving the dangerous bouts of depression” ( The Star, April 18).

It is sad to read about the writer coming to such a low point of depression where she was contemplating suicide, and glad to see that she pulled through and was still able to choose life.

I particularly liked the part where she said: “You have to defeat the thoughts of death within you...” It is indeed true that we must find in ourself the will to continue living. It is a decision we make consciously despite the chaos that may be going on around us.

However, there is a reason why other human beings exist around us; it is to make our life easier and facilitate the journey to our destination.

I have found that there are two main reasons why people fall into depression: the inability of their fellow human beings to do a good job and poor language skills.

Suffering from a mental illness is not the same as suffering from a physical one. If you feel depressed, that is if your mind feels weak or agitated but you still have a job to go to and thereby a salary waiting for you at the end of the month, you still have reasons to rejoice.

But when you become physically sick and lose the ability to work and generate income, you can fall into a state of depression that is much deeper and more binding.

We are greatly valued in relation to the service we can provide to society but when we go from provider to dependant, our self-worth and self-esteem take a big hit.

Young people often abuse their physical health and blame their depression on a mental condition. But they will know better in later life when a “real” sickness strikes them. My experience with arthritis and physiotherapy has certainly taught me this.

Depression is a curable disease whereas arthritis isn’t. Besides the physical pain I have to endure every day, my experience with physiotherapy and physiotherapists in the past two years has got me the closest I have ever been to contemplating suicide.

My first physiotherapist started off very well – so well that I decided to pay her in advance for the next 10 sessions. That was a mistake because she did not keep her promise and often left me in the room unattended for 15 minutes or more while she was talking to her boss or another patient who spoke her language. She finally excused her lack of professionalism by telling me that my sickness was in my mind and I should adopt a more positive attitude if I wanted to get better. This was despite the fact that my X-ray clearly showed that my arthritis was in my hips and not in my mind.

Another physiotherapist gave me a business card with no fewer than three spelling and grammar mistakes in it. I felt that a person who cannot speak the language well would also be unable to do a good job so I gave it a pass. I saw two more physiotherapists but I found their standard of professionalism wanting so I moved on.

I am now seeing a physiotherapist who seems to have a way of adapting the patient’s ailment to her treatment. There is a set of procedures which her clinic applies to patients and sells them in a package.

I was there two days ago begging her to give me some relief from the pain but all she could do was stare at me in bewilderment.

Don’t these trained medical professionals care about the suffering of their fellow human beings? Clearly, doctors and other medical practitioners need to earn an income but do they not believe that their income is dependent on curing the patient?

I feel that doctors are more interested in ensuring their own survival rather than the well-being of their patients. In his best-selling book When Breath Becomes Air, Dr Paul Kalanithi, a neurosurgeon who was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer at the age of 36, wrote: “Doctors have no idea of the suffering they cause their patients.”

When you feel that people don’t care about you, there is a very high chance that you will fall into depression and feel that life is not worth living.

If people could just be good at their job and serve you as they should, one major cause of depres- sion would be eliminated.

Besides doing the job well, good language skills can make people feel better immediately. When I was a student, my friend and I would tell each other almost every day, “In the end, all will be well.” Those simple words made us feel better.

A few days ago when I was again in terrible pain, a family member passed by and told me things would get better. And I felt better almost immediately. I believe that if people said nice things to each other, depression would be kept at bay.

But in my opinion, doing your work well and in the manner that always puts the customer first is still the best way to prevent depression in yourself as well as in those around you.

There is a very poignant scene in the movie The Devil Wears Prada, where the highly self-assured fashion magazine editor Miranda Priestly (played by Meryl Streep) momentarily lets her guard down to tell her assistant Andy (played by Anna Hathaway) how she is worried that her impending divorce will negatively affect her two daughters. The assistant is naturally concerned and asks her boss how she could help, to which Miranda promptly replies: “You want to help me? Do your job, just do your job.”

MARISA DEMORI Putrajaya