Friendships better than unity policies

Instead of focusing on what makes us different, let’s cherish what makes us similar and return to a Malaysia that was more racially tolerant.

I LAST wrote about my friend Evelyn Ang following the incident at the Klang City International Marathon in 2017. While pacing the marathon, she and two others were hit by a car, causing her to be severely injured.

Evelyn was then hospitalised for about three months before succumbing to her injuries. I received the news of her passing via Whatsapp and did what runners do, I attempted a run in the cold, snow-laden Port Meadows near my flat in Oxford.

I still feel a sense of guilt for not having had the means to fly back home and run behind the hearse that carried her to the cremation parlour.

In my previous column I wrote about her and the incident https:// www. thestar. com. my/ opinion/ columnists/naturally/2017/12/16/cantwe-share-the-road-responsibly-acting- against- the- organiser- of- theklang-city-international-mara/, I promised that we will run together again in the hopes of her recovery, only for me to have missed out on the very chance to have one last run with her.

All I could do was visit her resting place when I returned home. Her efficacious smile was frozen forevermore in a photograph on a marble slate, yet that smile still has the power to comfort, support and reassure weary souls.

For that weariness is what I am feeling right now. As we approach a new year, I can’t shake off the anxiety and unburden the worry on what is to come.

The year 2018 saw Malaysians having the courage to change the political coalition in power, but not enough to shift public mindset on race relations.

We saw a video of a young woman harassed by a man for simply doing her job, the organisation of an anti-Icerd rally and rioting at a temple – all in the span of the first six months of the new government.

I do not wish to discount race relations, after all, it is an important issue that is the crux of stability in any multi-ethnic country. But what I am weary of is the amplification of the divide in ethnocentrism every single time an incident occurs involving individuals from different ethnicity.

It seems that Malaysians are trained to see and fit within the racial boxes defined in the cumber- some forms we are wont to fill in for everything from job applications to accessing WiFi at the local café.

As evident in the case of the recent temple riot, we are quick to turn it into a racial issue, with politicians and intellectuals bickering on what each other deemed as necessary ministerial resignations, while a fireman lost his life.

We saw the tragedy being hijacked for an agenda imbued with racism. As investigations are ongoing on the matter, I am concerned on the public “noise” surrounding the incident, on how quickly we react through the racial lens.

Shouldn’t such tragedy instead teach us on the need to improve the strategies applied by our emergency personnel to not only save lives but also to ensure their own safety?

Shouldn’t we ask whether our emergency personnel are empowered with adequate training to minimise risks?

Further, I think the noise that followed this incident serves as an apt reminder on the need for improved race relations in our everyday lives.

The very fact that we long believed that “the other race is out to get us” allowed for such a narrative to easily be used as a trigger and ensure we will never break out of our ethnocentrism.

How can we rise above this psyche? Do we really need a minister for unity to come out with government-backed policies complete with logo, theme song, and campaign replete with day of remembrance?

I personally think the answer lies in shared experiences and lived realities. We must break out of our ethnic bubbles and learn to live together.

Why Evelyn’s death impacted me so deeply is due to our friendship that stemmed from our shared experience of running together. Instead of focusing on what differentiates us, we cherish what makes us similar.

It is also evident in the care that she gave to others. She would wait for Muslim runners to perform Subuh prayers and then continue pacing, all the while ensuring that everyone keep within the cut-off time.

She cared for her ‘charges’, many of whom then became her friends. I saw the power of her graceful influence, where this same ‘tribe’ of friends would volunteer at charity events or make the necessary donations to animal shelters when she put the message out.

In light of recent events, my Whatsapp inbox is flooded with narratives of nostalgia of a Malaysia that used to be more racially-tolerant. My question is why are we not living such nostalgia now?

It is neither easy to understand differences, nor for us to have heated discourse with those we call friends.

However, I believe that by having shared experiences – either through something as simple as running together, visiting each other’s houses during the festive occasions, or eating together – we can learn to have such friendships and create this national identity that is united in our diversity.

It is what my friend Evelyn would have advised, after all.

Lyana Khairuddin is a virologist turned policy nerd living in Kuala Lumpur. The views expressed here are entirely her own.