Lessons to learn from a tragic episode

ON May 14, an 18-year-old white teenager shot dead 10 people and injured three others at a supermarket in a predominantly black neighbourhood in Buffalo, New York. The shooting is now being investigated as both a hate crime and an act of racially motivated violent extremism.

Hate crimes are horrible, and it’s especially troubling when teens are involved. Our hearts go out to the family of all the victims.

Further reports have revealed that the shooter had threatened other students at his high school in June last year, and had been referred for mental health evaluation and counselling. He was released after being held for a day and a half, and no charges were brought against him.

Shouldn’t this incident have raised alarm bells for the parents that something was not right with their son?

It is also surprising/concerning that the parents – both work as civil engineers – have yet to offer an apology or show some remorse to the families of the victims.

As parents and grandparents, we can learn from this tragic episode. Parents have a pivotal role in guiding their children’s personal growth and development. We play a critical role in moulding our children’s basic values, such as honesty and integrity, instilling religious values, and monitoring their activities, including their circle of friends.

When our relationship with our children is strong, they are more likely to seek our advice and support in times of need or trouble. Children observe their parents’ behaviour and tend to emulate them in so many ways.

Unfortunately, many parents believe that parenting is centred on providing shelter, food and education for their children. Not many can afford to spend time to have heartto-heart conversations with their children and get to know them better.

As a result, children don’t share many things with their parents, and since they don’t share their issues, parents think everything is fine.

The key is having open communication, and for this to happen all parents must conscientiously put in extra effort and time to interact with their children on a sustained basis. Most importantly, parents must be their children’s best friends.

DR POLA SINGH Kuala Lumpur