Cause for overreaction

> These days, people are getting overly excited over the most minor of incidents with over-the-top reactions

ACOLLEAGUE accused me of having a tendency to overreact, so I have no choice but to curse his family for seven generations. Fair’s fair, right?

I learned from a former boss to respond strongly to things.

He used to say this at least once a day: “Some idiot has moved my [ some

random object] and when I find out who did it, God help me, I am going to tear him limb from limb with my bare … oh, there it is.”

Some people think overreacting is a bad thing, but look at the following evidence.

A reader sent me a video of a man riding a moped pursued by 12 police cars in the US.

A moped, for those who don’t know, is a motorbike powered by an engine with the strength of a mosquito suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome.

I had a moped once, but gave it up after it went from being slower than walking – which I didn’t mind – to being slower than standing still, which I did mind.

But just days later, that news was beaten by a news report sent by a reader in Canada.

A tactical attack squad and 12 police squad cars were sent to a block of flats in Winnipeg, Ontario, after someone slammed a door in the building.

Canadians are so mild-mannered that the sudden dramatic noise of a slamming door caused residents to dial the emergency services.

I’ve lived in places where the police don’t even react to murders unless they happen at the actual police station, and even then, the only reaction is an irritated desk sergeant looking up from Candy Crush and raising an eyebrow.

In another news item, a European reader said police raced to a house in Norway after neighbours heard screaming. It turned out to be a chessplayer expressing fury at his chess computer.

A colleague says Westerners are more like dogs who enjoy getting excited, while Easterners are more like fish who prefer to watch life go by without saying a lot.

It must be wonderful to be a fish. At the end of a tough day, it thinks: “Geez, I really need a drink.” And there it is!

I also stumbled on an example from Asia, in my son’s anime cartoons.

When something negative happens, waterfalls flow from the characters’ eyes, and when the hero sees a pretty girl, his nose starts bleeding. This explains that country’s drastic population slump.

Meanwhile, here’s a message to my colleagues in the sub-editing department: “You may be thinking of changing a word or two in my column. In which case, I may have to cut you into pieces to scatter over a wide area of a remote scrubland, laughing maniacally.”

I mean, fair’s fair, right?