The Sun (Malaysia)

Tenuous relationsh­ip

> The thread that binds a mother to her daughter-in-law and vice versa is a delicate one that needs constant nurturing and a lot of give and take

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OR can’t you keep it clean? Your children are still crawling around, they may pick up dirty stuff and put in their mouths.”

And you harbour the resentment that your son and grandchild­ren are not getting the best care from your daughter-in-law.

But if you are a mother, and your daughter’s house is dirty as a pig-sty, instead of griping at your girl, you might just say good-naturedly: “Your house is so messy. Can you keep it clean?”

And you let it go. You might even offer to tidy up for her!

I’m not denying that there are mothers- or daughters-in-law who are more difficult to get along with compared to others. Still, learn to be the bigger woman. If you are at the receiving end of caustic remarks, let it slide. If there is some truth in the hurtful remarks, take the criticism constructi­vely. Otherwise, just treat them as chaff and let them fly off with the wind. Or else, the grudge would just pile on and one day you would go ka-boom. If the situation results in a toxic environmen­t which affects the rest of the family, it may be advisable for MIL and DIL to minimise contact with each other. You know what they say about absence making the heart grow fonder. Don’t get me wrong. I am not advocating that you cut off ties. At the very least, you could celebrate special days and festivals with each other. In the meantime, work at it. The repair may take years, but it will be worth it. This article just skims the surface of MIL-DIL relationsh­ips but I hope it is useful to those who find themselves struggling.

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