Bird droppings be gone!

WE’VE all had bird droppings on our cars. There might be some on your car right at this moment, and rest assured, until someone invents a bird-poopdeflector, there will be droppings on your car in the future too.

It’s an annoying sight when you had just left a car wash, with your car clean and free of last weekend’s balik kampung dirt and grime.

And it’s very painful to experience when your car had gone through a lengthy and expensive polishing and detailing job just minutes ago!

It is important that you remove bird droppings off your car’s painted parts as fast as you can before it can cause any damage. Bird droppings are acidic (pH 3.5-4.5). When they fall onto your car’s paint, the acid begins to burn and “etch” the paint’s surface in just a few minutes. The longer the droppings remain, the greater the damage.

They can create a damage of one to two “thou” deep on your paintwork. A thou is a thousandth of an inch. A notebook paper is approximately two thou thick. Your car’s paint is four to six thou thick.

It’s a small consolation that bird dropping damage is a not-so-visible dimple in the paint surface, often as large as an inch or more in diameter. The damage is permanent but is easily repaired or minimised.

If you park under a tree where those birds help repaint your car with recycled bugs, road kills and seeds, that gunk will come off a lot easier if it falls on a waxed paint job.

But what’s the best wax or paint sealant to protect against bird droppings? Sorry, there’s none. Think about it – anything corrosive enough to harm or etch modern clear coat paint is easily strong enough and/or corrosive enough to eat through and obliterate any micron-thin layer of wax or paint sealant from any company you’ve applied onto your car.

If you find a bird has pooped on your car, wash it off as quick as you can. If you leave it in the sun and the poop bakes on, you could end up with a dull spot in the paint.

That’s why it’s so important to keep a bottle of spray detailer (those big hardware store chains normally found in shopping malls should be able to assist you) and some clean, soft microfibre polishing cloth in your car for emergencies because if you love your car and you actively maintain a show car finish, then bird droppings that land on your car’s paint are “emergencies”!

If you have a completely dried bird dropping on your car’s finish, and you don’t have access to a water hose with free-flowing water, then instead of wiping it off with a spray detailer or worse, scrubbing it off, do this instead:

Take a clean microfibre polishing cloth, fold it four ways to create a thick, plush wiping cloth.

Next, spray one side with your favourite spray detailer, the idea is to hyper-lubricate the entire face of one side.

Next place it onto the dried bird dropping.

Wet the cloth with water until the entire cloth is saturated but not to the point where water is running down the car. The idea is to have plenty of water present to soak into the dried bird dropping.

Let the wet cloth stand on the dried bird dropping for five to 10 minutes.

Now, carefully enclose the wetmicrofibre around the bird dropping using your hand and fingers; you’re trying to carefully bunch-up the microfibre and then lift the bird dropping off the paint. Don’t simply wipe the bird dropping over the paint. – Azlan Ramli