Monkey see, monkey do
O Children learn and imitate behaviours by watching and listening to others, be it good or bad
CHILDREN are constantly paying attention to the world around them. They watch and learn how others talk, interact, and respond to situations. For infants and toddlers, parents are their first teachers. As they grow older, they then observe and learn from other family or friends, babysitters, and from television and media.
As such, it will do well for us to remember that children will emulate what they have observed, whether the behaviour is good or bad. Even if the adults are not intentionally trying to teach them, non-verbal messages by way of our actions tend to be retained more strongly as compared to our verbal messages. Without realising our own bad habits, we may be negatively impacting our children’s development.
Watch what you say
In the first few years of life, language learning expands at the most rapid pace. The way we talk and the words we use play a big role in shaping how the child will speak in the future. You may unintentionally curse or scold out loud in certain social situations, and your child who does not understand the meaning or implication of the word will likely do so as well. We have to always be mindful of the words we say as once the child has picked up the word, it is difficult to remove it from their vocabulary.
Dishonesty
Children may sometimes lie for many reasons, whether to not get into trouble or for certain gain. Parents may also sometimes lie to their children in order not to hurt their feelings. However, continuing to be dishonest, it may teach the child that lying is acceptable behaviour. Furthermore, children tend to have a knack for realising when their parents are being dishonest. It is important for parents to address the issues of honesty openly without trying to find fault or blame.
Eating right
Our eating habits have a large impact on our children. We may sometimes skip a meal, eat at irregular times, overindulge, or snack on junk food constantly. We may not have been paying attention to whether our own plate has portions with balanced nutrition. We treat our least favourite foods as completely undesirable. All these actions are passed on to the children and they become picky eaters or eat unhealthy and unbalanced food portions. It is best for us to regularly stress the importance of consuming a balanced diet.
Smoking/drugs/alcohol
Parents who smoke cigarettes or vape, parents who use illicit drugs, or parents who abuse alcohol, will likely have their children following in their footsteps. The use of these substances sends a message to the child that it is alright to turn to these when faced with the troubles of life.
Control your use of gadgets
Parents sometimes do not realise that they seem to place more importance on their phones than their children. When doing activities or in conversation with children, when parents are more interested in attending to their phones than the activity, it sets inappropriate precedence for the child. The duration of use of the gadgets daily should also be carefully watched.
By doing self-reflection and knowing our own habits and behaviours, we can identify which of these behaviours can help our children grow positively. It may be helpful to discuss with your spouse to have a different perspective as you may not think of some habits as potentially
harmful to the child.
Dr Yeap is a paediatrician attached
to KPJ Sentosa KL. Through his (below) Children might not have
enough resources to
understand everything, but they do have the
drive to learn more by simply
copying what they see. –
articles, he aims to help increase public awareness of the common issues associated with children’s
health.