Gaining self-development and joyfulness by being more mindful and compassionate
As January comes to an end, we look at our New Year’s resolutions list with a sense of dread. We more or less all have the same list. You know, quit smoking, start exercising, eat more healthily, spend less time online, and so on – a daunting list we try to stick following the festive season. Yet studies show that around 80 per cent of people fail to stick to their resolutions for more than six weeks.
I am one of those people, so when I first heard of Emma Hogg’s New Year Evolution Workshop, I was intrigued. Emma is a psychotherapist and founder of A Life I Choose, “which is a self-development agency that guides clients to amplify their strengths so that they can overcome any challenge and create a life that truly fulfils them.”
This was Emma’s second year holding the New Year Evolution Workshop, a place to understand your own purpose and break away from the self-doubt which holds us back from taking those exciting steps to personal growth. Apart from learning more about the importance of mindfulness and selfdevelopment, Emma also explains that it is not about an endless list of resolutions, but the way they can help us evolve as people.
Moving away from resolution to evolution
When I first entered the workshop, it became apparent that I was about to share many personal beliefs and fears with complete strangers, but I soon realised that while we were all different, we all had very similar goals for the new year. Some participants wanted to get a head start in their business; others wanted to get in better shape and feel more confident. Others generally wanted to learn how to become more focused on being happy. Some were initially hesitant to open up to complete strangers, but it was a truly comforting experience in the end.
When I asked Emma how it felt to watch strangers engage with one another, she said she felt privileged and excited to be part of the process. “It really lights me up. At the start, everyone is a bit hesitant, but by the end of it you watch everyone opening up and sharing. I believe this helps metabolise the shame we all carry.” She said that every single person carries shame with stops us from achieving our goals, but sharing this burden helps people feel less alone.
Throughout the workshop Emma shared her own experiences learning to grow and achieve her goals. She told us why resolutions never really worked and why it was time to replace resolutions with evolution. “To move away from that, we need to drop the ‘r’. This stands for repetitive behaviour. Trade self-doubt with valuedriven choices instead.”
She said that the workshop is a place to understand those value-driven choices, and in a safe space, people reconnect with themselves and set targets for self-growth which are aligned with their purpose. “When it is in alignment with their purpose, they are not just setting a target, but are experiencing joy, fulfilment and excitement,” she explained. “When you experience these positive emotions on a daily basis, this has a ripple effect on the people around you.”
Emma said that it is important to understand that we should not limit ourselves to a single purpose or passion. “We needn’t see our purpose as just one big thing,” she said. “Most of us are multi-passionate and we can truly tune in with what our purpose is by listening to what we are passionate about and doing more of that.” Throughout our time together, Emma emphasised the importance of being more mindful and compassionate towards ourselves, understanding that once we know what we want to work on during the year, it will take time and effort. “You won’t walk out of this workshop ‘fixed’,” she said, “but you will leave with a better understanding of what you need to do in order to grow and achieve your goals this year.”
She said that there would be challenging moments, feelings of pain and anger, but it is important to understand those feelings. “Being mindful is ext remely important to our society, especially given what we are going through; the distrust, blame, people shrugging off responsibility. We cannot wait for the government to save our morals – we need to make the difference, to treat people more kindly and in doing so treat ourselves more kindly as well.”
In this day and age mindfulness is becoming more valued
Throughout the workshop, Emma kept going back to the point of being a compassionate and mindful to help obtain our goals for the new year. When I asked her whether these values were being forgotten, she insisted that the opposite was true; that people are increasingly recognising their value. “In the past, it was easier to be mindful, there were fewer distractions and we didn’t have information constantly bombarding us. I believe people becoming more mindful one again and understanding what they want.”
We also spoke about living a more holistic lifestyle, and the importance of being more aware, through mindfulness of our patterns and behaviours. “We need to observe ourselves, and it is important to take steps to change behaviour we are not happy with. That is why it is all about a life I choose. The first steps are awareness, which comes from mindfulness, but it is not enough to be aware – we need to take the necessary steps to change those patterns.”
While this is easier said than done, Emma explained throughout the workshop that it is essential to decoding our fears and understanding what hinders us from taking certain actions. “I remember I too used to find it challenging to replace the belief that nobody liked me to the belief that I am loved and wanted. Now that I have changed my beliefs, I like myself more and feel I have grown so much. Once we take that fear and decode it, we can achieve so much.”
Apart from setting goals and decoding fear, Emma also spoke about the importance of allowing yourself time. “If we are always on the go, our body is constantly in fight or flight mode,” she explained.
“If we want to heal, we need to let go and relax; to give our mind time to process what we have been through. We need to remember that we do not need to achieve 100 things, but prioritise a few things and grow and evolve out of those achievements.”
A Life I Choose is in its third year, which Emma explains has been one of the biggest gifts to her. “At the beginning, I was not so sure what I was doing, but now I see that people find value in what I do and it is always rewarding when someone messages me to thank me for what I taught them and how they have gained fulfilment and joy.” She said that one of the next steps for A Life I Choose is to produce an audio course for people to listen to at home. “I would also like to start a podcast and create another workshop. My vision is to create an international business, which has already started, and to have a brand which empowers people to create life on their own terms.”
I asked Emma to reveal the one thing a person should do to improve their quality of life. She said this was to find an activity that brings gratitude and mindfulness. “Find something which you can practise and which you will integrate as a habit. Always be honest with yourself and, if you can, find a mentor to help you. We grow and learn from each other and deepen our self-awareness, understand our choices and act on them. Power is not only through knowledge, but through action.”