A long-awaited Mother’s Day

New mother and blogger Marie Claire Pellegrini cuddles her 11-week old baby Eloise, a moment she thought she would never be able to experience, and she still can’t believe her good IVF fortune. A Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers out there. Photo: Alenka Falzon

Dayna Clarke She had feared that this would be a moment she would never experience. After many years of trying to conceive, Marie Claire Pellegrini had almost given up hope of ever being a mother.

However, look at her now as she gazes down lovingly at her new-born daughter, Marie Claire – a 35-year-old charge nurse from Naxxar – admits that she still cannot believe that little Eloise is here.

“Infertility is something so many thousands of couples endure, yet here it remains such a taboo subject. The matter needs awareness, and support” she says. Marie Claire’s story begins in her late twenties. Recently married she had tried to conceive a baby, but without success.

After visiting her gynaecologist, Marie Claire and husband started the IVF process locally. “Taking that first step to seek advice isn’t easy,” she said. “It took me a long time to ask for help, but it is something I would advise anyone going through a similar experience to do. Just go and talk to your gynaecologist.”

After extensive tests, the couple opted to try the treatment. “IVF is incredibly draining, not just mentally but physically as well. Every day you have to administer multiple injections to yourself and take lots of medication. My weight ballooned, and I felt weak” says Marie Claire. Sadly, the first procedure was unsuccessful.

“It takes a great deal of mental energy to try IVF again: it’s a long process and incredibly isolating. I was so sure the second round was going to work, I had really high hopes, and it was devastating when it didn’t. I felt people were very cautious around me, especially when it came to anyone telling me they were pregnant, although I was genuinely happy for them.

“After the second round, we decided to take a break. I strongly believed a baby wasn’t necessary to complete our lives and I tried to make our lives as fulfilling as possible. For a year we focused on keeping ourselves occupied with the things we love. I began training for marathons and truly enjoyed fitness.

“I went for a routine smear test and my gynaecologist asked if I would be interested in trying again, as he knew of a private clinic in Spain that was getting great results. I went home and discussed it with my husband. Were we ready to go through the risk of heartbreak again, not to mention the financial aspect of going for treatment abroad?”

Eventually, the couple decided to book a consultation in Spain. “The doctor studied all my tests. He was very blunt with us and said I can definitely help you. After some time back in Malta considering another attempt – we decided to go for it and booked in at the clinic. From the four eggs, they managed to retrieve from me, only one had survived. I knew that the odds of being successful from just one egg, were incredibly stacked against us. Nevertheless, we decided to try – and, well here she is!” Marie Claire says, looking at her new-born daughter.

The pregnancy did not run smoothly. Marie Claire suffered an extensive bleed just seven days after discovering she was pregnant: “I knew it could mean a miscarriage or an implantation bleed, and fortunately it was the latter” she said. Throughout her pregnancy, she was exceptionally unwell with hyperemesis gravidarum. “I was so afraid to do anything, eat anything or take any risk, and I guess I was extra cautious as I was in fear of something going wrong.”

Positively, baby Eloise was born 11 weeks ago and is doing very well. “I still can’t believe it,” says Marie Claire.

Before I leave, I ask the inevitable question: would she do it again? “No,” she says. “Everybody has a different journey. Once you start going down the fertility path, you have to be aware that it could go either way, that there will be effects on your physical and mental wellbeing, and that you will have to be comfortable with the outcome.

“I told myself that not having children isn’t the worst thing in life: some people choose not to have children. There are far worse things. I told myself that if it isn’t meant to be, it ‘s just not meant to be, and you have to be grateful for what you have. I’m not ready to go through all that again.” Marie Claire speaks openly about her journey and her blog can be followed at www.mariecp.wordpress.com

Marie Claire Pellegrini had almost given up hope of ever being a mother