GENERATING understanding

There will always be an issue between different generations, the best thing is accept this is and try and get round it.

Several theories exist as to the time span that separates each generation, but most of us simply define it by whether we are old enough to be the grandparent, parent or contemporary of the people we relate to.

Each generation is influenced according to circumstances, and the events and sentiments of the one before it, so it's hardly surprising that they often view each other from a skewed perspective.

Because of many, probably

self-motivated, instincts we are prone to generalise about those older or younger than ourselves to a point where young and old regard each other as aliens. This has become an excuse for the bias and bigotry that has marred each generation.

The simple fact is that each generation is different; with its own values, wants and needs. And if they would sometimes stop to remember what life was like, or imagine what it will be like, based on both personal experience and a skill which is in seriously short supply, empathy for each other, the generation gap could be easily be bridged.

But, this only happens in certain environments, situations and sections of society. In plenty of happy states and conditions, different generations get on in harmony by acknowledging, tolerating and, in many cases, benefiting from their differences.

The main reasons for this are mutual respect and an atmosphere where no one feels compelled to use their knowledge and experience of life, as far as they have lived it, in a superior or belittling way.

The younger generations find this particularly gruelling and patronising. And the older ones should remember all the things they could do perfectly well 20, 40 or even 60 years ago, and accept that those of the equivalent age today are no less able, even if their methods are not the same.

This is bound to be hard on those who have lived and experienced a lot over several decades. There are so many things that were safer and easier to do; travel being an obvious example. Getting a job for life was an ambition, and a work ethos that embraces working from home, start-ups

and jobs totally unrelated to a hard-won university degree is incomprehendable to the pensioner who, in his or her time, had no such opportunities.

Then there's money and possessions. How is a generation who worked hard, sometimes in a job they hated, and saved even harder for the things we take for granted today, supposed to have much respect for one that wants something and expects to get it, 'like now'. Money won't be a problem. What are credit cards for? And there are all those indulgent parents with a mistaken idea that giving their children 'all the things they never had' will make everyone happy. The younger generations have little or no incentive to save, and they do not look very favourably on those before, who were far less materialistic and also planned ahead.

In fact, comparatively few of today's oldies are a drain on society, as they will have invested in their home and saved for the future, before spending on the good things in life. That their pensions and investments may sometimes prove inadequate for a lifestyle they may have expected is often not down to them, considering the mishandling and changes made to all types of pension schemes over the years, by those who should know better.

We are living in a time when so much of what was expected of a person and their family members has simply been re booted. Parental authority once undisputed is expected to be gained through negotiation rather than by punishment.

Children are always a huge indication of generation gaps. Once they were taught and expected to show basic good manners: respecting other people's personal space and property, moving to let someone older or carrying shopping go by, not pushing and shoving to get what they want, showing polite gratitude for gifts, offering their help with certain jobs, and actually being concerned about how their behaviour looked to other people.

Not any more, by and large, parents can hardly be bothered half the time. They may be determined not to repeat the heavy-handed methods used on them, or so adept at ignoring their children’s noise and disruption that they have no idea how it affects everyone else. As two working parents, they may feel they have to compensate for their absence by letting their children run riot wherever they go. They are already rearing future generations who, with the attraction of social media as the major means of communicating, are easily on the way to being the least happily interactive generation ever.

We are living at a time when changes in every sphere, happen faster than any other. And it's not only the ‘older’ generations who are disturbed by some of the changes. But as human beings we are supposed to be in charge. Members of every generation should experience the same rights and privileges, relevant to age, life experiences and individual abilities.

Every generation has a responsibility to the members that came before, and the ones that will follow. Each member of each generation must get over the presumption that their needs and rights are more important than the others. We should be beyond blaming past generations and be grateful to those whose achievements worked to our advantage. In fact, blaming the young and past generations is ridiculous. People of all age groups were responsible for decisions that were made throughout history, not specific age groups.

And yet, we now have everything from Baby Boomers to Generations X (Millenials) Y and Z; labels which were doubtless generated as a way of boxing us all up for commercial and economic reasons. All those different lifestyles, aspirations and expectations to target are catnip to data and media selling companies.

And every age group would benefit profoundly from forgetting all that, and relating to and showing respect to, and consideration for, each other as individuals, not just as members of certain generation.