The tooth and nothing but the tooth

That we, as a nation, have always had a political mindset is amply testified in the history books, written by us and others.

When we needed to get rid of an arrogant, greedy feudal ruler, the women forfeited their few paltry items of gold. From rings and bracelets to broaches and earrings were used to redeem the populace, only to quickly end up under other, probably more vicious ruler − the story of downtrodden nations and city states all over the world.

There is the anecdote of the despairing British governor, just relieved from his colonial duties in the British Raj, insisting it was by far easier governing the Indian sub-continent than this strategically-placed pocket island where people took exception to all that was dished out by the ruling class. We now also have the unique opportunity of cherishing Napoleon’s hand-written letter in which he planned the 1798 attack on us poor souls.

The 21st century story that a giant shark tooth, recently presented to prince George by David Attenborough, may be reclaimed by Malta where it was originally found, has done the rounds across the tabloid world. It made for some idle amusement. Of course this was not about the

Elgin Marbles, a collection of Classical Greek sculptures, stolen from Greece by a marauding British Earl in the early 19th century. But was it right for the ever so sanctimonious Attenborough to just take it and then dispose of it like a toffee to a child? There are places in the Mediterranean – Sardinia, for example – where you are rightly not even allowed to take a minuscule sample of sand as a memento of your holiday there!

But, for one moment, forget the fossilised tooth from an extinct Carcharocles megalodon shark, reportedly one of the most feared predators to have roamed the seas. It fades into insignificance when compared to the precious items stolen from Malta over almost two centuries (the greatest looting having taken place at the Knights’ Armoury in Valletta) by manifold British governors, their mistresses, partners and starched, uniformed staff. Most of the bootie did not go into museums but to private homes and stately mansions where they still gather dust to the tinkling sound of pink gin glasses.

There is also stuff, stolen from Malta, that is exhibited inside museums and historic places, like the cannon at the Tower of London; but to add insult to injury, there is also stuff that was taken away by the colonial rulers and left unseen or hidden away in some dark corner or a nonpublic basement, like the five curious Egyptian tablets at the British Museum in London, found in 1830 during excavation works for the building of the Bighi naval hospital at Kalkara.

When speaking to the media, Culture Minister Jose’ Herrera made a good case – sadly rendered instantly vulnerable by virtue of Attenborough’s massive world profile and the involvement of an innocent royal kid – for justifying the idea of claiming the primeval shark tooth back to eventually form part of the Island’s limited natural history collection.

While the British royals typically had no time for such intricacies, with Kensington Palace tactfully declining to comment, it had to be one of our own MEPs, Roberta Metsola to manipulate the issue. Needless to say, she avoided lumping into her tagine pot the Brussels sharks that Brexit, for example, helped the UK bid adieu to.

But to switch back to the tooth and nothing but the tooth, I bet David Attenborough, for whole decades the greatest pro-planet voice in the world, has more of the thing, plus some other precious little mementos from across the globe. Humanity largely agrees he more than deserves them.

On interference

The EU has declared it does not recognise the results of last August’s Belarusian presidential election, which it said was “neither free nor fair”. It also said it no longer sees Aleksandr Lukashenko as the legitimate leader of Belarusia.

OK, that may or may not be wholly true, but it’s not interference of course. Social media trolls and posts are interference. The same goes for the situation in Venezuela, where the EU and its US puppet-master, see Juan Guaidó as the legitimate leader, not the elected incumbent. OK again, that is not interference. Social media trolls and posts are interference. But does not one get the impression that the recognition of a country’s leader seems to have been weaponized by the West in their policy of regime change where influences other than their own prevail? Not Saudi Arabia, not the Emirates, not Egypt and other camouflaged dictatorships, but places like

Sudan, Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, Syria and, soon if things don’t improve, Lebanon. Macron has already seemingly become President of Lebanon too.

The West has a massive track record, not only for interfering in foreign elections, but also for not recognising results, governments and leaders they don’t happen to like. But of course that is not interference, only social media trolls and posts are. Policing the world is an obsession that never really left the psyche of the former colonial and imperial powers.

Of parrots and barn owls

I had to laugh out loud when I read the story of the five foulmouthed parrots that have had to be separated after encouraging each other to swear at a Lincolnshire zoo in the UK. The parrots – Billy, Eric, Tyson, Jade and Elsie – were introduced among a colony of 200 grey parrots only last August, but according to a zoo official “it did not take them long to ruffle a few feathers with their foul language”, adding that while they are used to parrots swearing, they’ve never had a chorus of five.

While here we have had a featherbrained individual who forced an entry into the Razzett talBagħal breeding centre at Buskett to steal two newly-introduced barn owls, cruelly snapping their wings in the process. It is as amusing as it is admirable to know that in the case of the swearing parrots nobody had complained, but they were separated for the sake of young visitors and in the hope that they would pick up natural calls from the other African grey parrots.

The same zoo official said “when a parrot tells you to f *** off it amuses people very highly and it has brought a big smile to a really hard year”. In our case, one hopes it will be the courts to tell that brainfeathered chap to do the same and so highly amuse us.