Work-life balance is a lie. Here’s what to do instead

Just over three years ago I handed in my resignation and walked out of the office without a backup plan, fueled by a desire and a dream to create a career on my own terms.

I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of work. Considering work takes up almost 75% of our weekly life, that’s a hell of a long time to spend feeling bored, uninspired and miserable (especially when you multiply that by about 50 years).

So I’ve spent the past threeand-a-half years working away to create the business of my dreams. I choose to work a 60hour week for myself so that I don’t have to work a 40-hour week for someone else.

I’ve had to work weekends, bring my laptop along on family holidays, decline social invitations to deal with issues that were mine alone to solve and accept the fact that there isn’t really a day when you’re completely “off ”.

I’ve found myself struggling with the dilemma of work-life balance throughout these years, and why I just can’t seem to achieve it.

Does work or family come first when you’re trying to build the business of your dreams? A business that your family will benefit from in the long-term?

People talk about how essential work-life balance is, but I honestly don’t really think it exists.

The truth is, when you focus your energy on one area of your life, another one inevitably has to take a back seat.

At the end of the day, you still have the same amount of hours in a day, the same amount of mental, physical and emotional energy.

When you’re juggling work, family, friends, self-care, wellbeing and spirituality, you’ll always do well in some areas at some points, while others naturally go through a dip.

The real problem is the unattainable pressure we put on ourselves to excel in every area of our life every day.

I think the more important question is, how do you manage to give a proportionate amount of energy and focus to everything over time, at different intervals?

How do you focus 100% on work without feeling guilty, and then balance that out by being present and mindful during family time the following week?

I was listening into a room on Clubhouse last week (if you haven’t heard of Clubhouse yet, it’s the latest social media craze – an audio-chat social networking app where conversations revolve around specific topics) when a woman was called up to the audio stage to share her tip on achieving this balance.

She said she sits down every morning and rates herself in the six areas mentioned above on a scale of 1-10.

It’s fine if one week work was a 10 but relationships with friends or wellbeing scored a 2 – you can’t be a 10 in everything every day.

What is more important is selfawareness and keeping track.

When we spot patterns in our lives (good ones and bad ones) we can respond and react to nudge life back into the direction we’d like it to go.

Knowing where you’ve been spending your time lately and then planning to nourish other areas of your life accordingly is the ultimate way to anticipate and avoid regret.

So few people recognise the importance of self-awareness and the part that plays in the direction our life starts to take year after year. This is why so many people feel like life is out of their control, like things are just happening to them.

Every single day we are given the opportunity to shape where our life is heading in the long term. Every day we cast a vote for the person we will be and the life we will have in five, 10, 20 years’ time.

So start today. Take stock of every area of your life, but rather than pile on the pressure for perfection, look out for patterns and adjust how you react and then show up in different areas of your life. Balance can be achieved over time, just not every single day.

Jessica is an entrepreneur and founder of Lead & Launch, a digital boutique for creative, done-for-you branding and marketing templates that will give your online business a professional and polished look (no design skills or expensive designers necessary!). Find out more on www.leadandlaunch.com and on Instagram: @leadandlaunch

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