A greeting for all seasons

Last week I met an elderly lady on a mission

She told me she is determined to at least try to change attitudes in most shops and offices in Malta. She said – and I later confirmed – that most shop assistants and office workers that come into contact with the public – need an urgent crash course in basic public relations.

How many times have you wandered into a shop to be greeted (if that’s the correct word) by the assistant with a blank, dead-eyed stare and the one “welcome” word, “Yes?” How bloody unwelcoming… no, how bloody rude! And, before I continue my rant I should say that this tendency is overwhelmingly endemic in Malta; Gozo is less prone to the disease of serial rudeness.

For a start, what does “Yes?” mean? In my dictionary it is given as “Yes: An indication of assent.” No mention there of any sort of “greeting”. And certainly no question mark punctuation. Anecdotally, yesterday I went into a hardware shop in my home village. Behind the counter was a young lad in his late teens who had managed to acquire an abundant crop of acne on his face and in his spare time and his facial expression was totally moribund. He acknowledged my presence in front of him with the standard issue “Yesss?” I decided to respond with a greeting of my own: “Oh hi, good morning.” I began with – and then glanced at him to see what response I received. The answer was both negative and entirely predictable. He simply didn’t respond. He just stared right back registering nothing, zilch. The eyes remained totally dead. So I, rather foolishly I admit, tried again: “Bongu”. Same response, so I gave up and ordered the paint I needed. Which he reached down from a shelf, told me the price in a flat monotone. I paid and left.

A small, insignificant incident sure, but totally indicative of our sadly, deteriorating standards of behaviour… across the board. I could have given you umpteen almost identical “confrontations” that have been my recent – and less recent – experience. So it is rather nice to relate one pleasant encounter, yes just one that I had latterly. It took place in one of those over-priced convenience shops that have sprung up all over the island. I had popped in for a packet of bacon; then carrying my purchase to the counter I was met by a smiling… yes honestly… smiling Indian lad. He greeted me with a beaming smile and “good afternoon sir, that will be X price, thanks”. Actually it was a bit of a shock to the system to be so pleasantly received. But I can certainly get used to it. What a difference between the Indian guy and that spotty oik in the hardware store. I am seeing more and more members of the south Asian community in shops, offices and especially in Mater Dei Hospital… where the Indian state of Kerula is extremely well represented. They are all, without exception, courteous and pleasant in their contacts with the public. Our lot could well do with trying to emulate them.

Oh yes; earlier on I mentioned the elderly lady who told me she was now using a new technique, when confronted by the monosyllabic greeting: “Yes.” She told me she merely smiles expansively at the perpetrator, then simply replies: “No.” And exits the shop. Good for her.