People with dementia

Our parents deserve the best when they grow old and when they cannot cope on their own anymore. We should never forget the sacrifices they made to bring us up in the best possible way.

Those looking after people with dementia should make sure that they know what this condition is.

People with dementia may seem to be acting unreasonably at times but this is the time when they mostly need to know that they are loved and cared for. It is their condition that makes them act so.

We had been looking after our mother for the past 14 years and, sadly, she died a few months ago, aged 98.

We have many beautiful memories – videos and photos of her – singing, eating, laughing, smiling and praying. She was a happy person because she knew that she was loved and cared for.

When she used to start getting confused due to her dementia, we used to show her that she was our treasure, that she was important and that she was loved. The more we got to know about dementia, the more we wanted to be with our mother – she was the most important and precious person for us – and her condition made her even more special to us.

It is important to know the following when taking care of people with this condition: they are afraid to be alone, so it is important that they are never left alone. They are afraid of the dark, so, even at night, they are not to be left in the dark. They are afraid when their carer is asleep and they are awake. They fear that, should anything happen to them while their carer is asleep, they would feel helpless.

They love to talk about past events, so, let us allow them to do so. They should never be forced to do anything – otherwise, they feel that they are being abused because of their fragility. They need to be treated with kindness and gentleness.

Let us give them quality time and make them feel that they are loved, precious and important.

So, please, let us make sure that those looking after people with dementia know that these people need to feel loved and secure – above all, they deserve to be treated with dignity. ROSEMARIE SCICLUNA