The mystery of our life and Devi Mahamaya
Our life is full of mystery. The more we think about it, the more we see it as more mysterious and strange. Not only about birth and death or God and creation, but there are also many simple things in life we do not understand. Sometimes we do not understand ourselves, our own thoughts, and our feelings. It is not unnatural to love someone who loves you.
In the same way, it is not unnatural to remember someone fondly who gives you pleasure. But it is undoubtedly mysterious when you often remember someone or something lovingly which gave you trouble. That I always think is the mystery of our life, which I do not easily understand.
In this context, I find the most mysterious of our life is our love for
Tribhuvan University and its library Tribhuvan University Central Library. My beloved wife Shanti Mishra and I both joined Tribhuvan University when it was just established and crawled like a baby at the premises of Tripureshwor with a few tiny small bungalows initially made for the government guests. We worked for it with complete dedication and devotion with peace and happiness as you work in your own house and compound. We both had to be retired many years before the legal requirement age without any fault. We have mentioned it in several of our writings. So it does not need more words and sentences than this.
Even after separation from our job from the organization, we could never stop thinking and worrying about the university and the library. Our love and attachment to that organization.was firmly stuck in our hearts. We knew that this carried no value. We would not be able to do anything for the organization, and our thoughts and worries would not bring anything to the organization's benefit.
Similarly, we both understood there was no sense in loving the organization from which we got unbearable pain and agonies for our selfless service. But still, we loved, and my beloved wife Shanti Mishra, the Founder and Chief Librarian of Tribhuvan University Central Library left this world not separating her love from the organization from which she suffered. I still love and remember the organization from which I got pain and suffering. I still think and write about its development and welfare.
At the same time, I have been searching for the mystery of our love, which made us love without reason. In this regard, suddenly, I remembered the story of Bhagawati, Durga named Chandi, which we recite at home every day in our prayer room (Puja Kotha) during Dashai (10 days festival in Nepal for special worshipping of Goddess Durga with her many forms). The story is also called Durga Saptashati (Seven Hundred Verses to Sri Durga). Chandi means The Fierce. Chandrika is another name for the demon-destroying form of the Hindu Goddess Durga. Chandi is primarily the story of Chandika
fighting and destroying the evil forces named Madhu and Kaitabha, Dhumralochana, Chanda and Munda, Raktabeeja, Shumbha, Nishumbha, and Mahishasura. It also talks about the various names and forms of Durga.
There is also a chapter about Mahamaya, another form of Durga. According to the story -- a wise and benevolent king named Surath was defeated in the battle by another king and learned that even his trusted ministers had
turned against him for personal gain. He had to escape from the kingdom and came to live in the forest. But he always remembered and worried about his kingdom, people, horses, elephants, riches, and even the people who betrayed him.
Similarly, another merchant named Samadhi was also betrayed by his wife and children because of greed and had to leave his dear family and home by compulsion. He was also in the forest and always loved, remembered, and worried for the family who abandoned him. The king and merchant could not understand the mystery of their love and worry for those who gave them trouble and betrayed them. They both were so bewildered by their intense degree of attachment to the people and family who had so conspicuously wronged them. So they both went to a holy sage named Medha, living in an Ashram in the forest, hoping to know the mystery of their love with no cause.
After hearing their queries, the sage made them understand that this was because of the mystery of Maya (Love) created by Mahamaya, the Goddess, another form of the same Goddess Durga. The Goddess controls and conducts us with her power of love, kindness, compassion, grief, etc. We behave and run according to her wishes, which is how we all are created. That is called Maya. We all are hypnotized and enwrapped by Maya. The influence of the degree of its intensity may be different from person to person.
I fully understand the cycle of birth and death. Among your loved ones, anyone can depart any day or any moment. That is our life. We have been witnessing this since we were born. Still, we cannot learn the lesson, solace our heart, and controls our grief and pain. This affects some more and some less. It affects all people. But now I think this is all because of Mahamaya, beyond your control. I now somewhat understand the mystery of my grief. When I remember constant agonies, suffering because of my grief, and pain after my beloved wife Shanti Mishra’s sad demise, even after three full years, I think I am getting more pain because I was created that way.
In the same way, now, I think my wife's and my attachment to the university was also because of Maya, even though the organization and its irresponsible, heartless authorities did us so wrong and gave us unbearable pain, we continued worrying about it and selflessly loving. From this point, it seems we all should be aware of Mahamaya, the Goddess, and accept the pain we get. We get some solace and peace if we think so and can do so.