Will's epic day at the Mount
"The view from the top was silent and beautiful as always— only broken by the wheeze of a slightly over done-on-the-barbecue (free range) chicken sausage with legs.’’
Summer is coming! Well, sort of ...
On Sunday I tried to embrace the impending result of my white pasty flesh being exposed to the rest of the world. Poor them. Seeing me in October is kind of like seeing an untanned, slightly shaved bigfoot (that you doubletake at cos you weren’t sure he actually existed) emerging from a bar at 7am when you’re out on your morning run.
That’s how I feel I look to the rest of the world as standard after winter of lazy eating, lazy moving and lazy hair maintenance! Like a tall, tired and ageing ewok that’s got clumps of hair falling out through the stress of being viewed by another set of eyes!
So I got into a singlet (seems tighter . . . strange), inserted my translucent legs in to some shorts and went for a trot up the Mount in the Sunday sun. The only similarity I have to a trotting horse would be the mouth and nasal frothing at the end of the race . . . but I have that about 1/3 of the way through.
I got on my little 50cc scooter (comical purely because ofmy height), cruised along the Mount beach front in the sun, parked in the motorbike park right at the bottom of the Mount— that park is literally the reason I bought the damn thing— and relieved my body of some moisture all over Mauao. The view from the top was silent and beautiful as always— only broken by the wheeze of a slightly overdone-onthe-barbecue (free range) chicken sausage with legs.
Once Imade it back down and my crimson turned back into ‘my-mum’s-a-ginger’ whiteish freckly hue, I went to ameeting with a couple about being their celebrant this coming summer. (If only they’d seen me an hour earlier . . . they would be getting married by someone else for sure).
It was so nice sitting there in the sun talking about happy times in MORE sun to come.
Then itwas to the beach near manu Surf Club with some friends for an early ‘fush n chup dunner’ . . . where we were promptly reminded that we had jumped the gun just a smidge . . . It rained as soon as we opened the food. Missed it by that much! But it’s coming people!
Put down the pie (says the guy who was just talking about his fish and chips), give yourself the full shave down, moisturise that dry vitamin D-lacking skin, do something that makes you sweat and prepare for another glorious summer in one of the best parts of theworld!
See you up the Mount . . . I’ll be the overly-breathy, hungover blotchy uncle-looking one. Yum.
■ Will Johnston is host of The Hits 95FM Day Show. Live and local from 9am-3pm, every weekday in the Bay of Plenty.
A day out in paradise for Will.