Will's epic day at the Mount

Bay News - - FRONT PAGE - Will Johnston

"The view from the top was silent and beau­ti­ful as al­ways— only bro­ken by the wheeze of a slightly over done-on-the-bar­be­cue (free range) chicken sausage with legs.’’

Sum­mer is com­ing! Well, sort of ...

On Sun­day I tried to em­brace the im­pend­ing re­sult of my white pasty flesh be­ing ex­posed to the rest of the world. Poor them. See­ing me in Oc­to­ber is kind of like see­ing an un­tanned, slightly shaved big­foot (that you dou­ble­take at cos you weren’t sure he ac­tu­ally ex­isted) emerg­ing from a bar at 7am when you’re out on your morn­ing run.

That’s how I feel I look to the rest of the world as stan­dard af­ter win­ter of lazy eat­ing, lazy mov­ing and lazy hair main­te­nance! Like a tall, tired and age­ing ewok that’s got clumps of hair fall­ing out through the stress of be­ing viewed by an­other set of eyes!

So I got into a sin­glet (seems tighter . . . strange), in­serted my translu­cent legs in to some shorts and went for a trot up the Mount in the Sun­day sun. The only sim­i­lar­ity I have to a trot­ting horse would be the mouth and nasal froth­ing at the end of the race . . . but I have that about 1/3 of the way through.

I got on my lit­tle 50cc scooter (com­i­cal purely be­cause ofmy height), cruised along the Mount beach front in the sun, parked in the mo­tor­bike park right at the bot­tom of the Mount— that park is lit­er­ally the rea­son I bought the damn thing— and re­lieved my body of some mois­ture all over Mauao. The view from the top was silent and beau­ti­ful as al­ways— only bro­ken by the wheeze of a slightly over­done-on­the-bar­be­cue (free range) chicken sausage with legs.

Once Imade it back down and my crim­son turned back into ‘my-mum’s-a-gin­ger’ whiteish freckly hue, I went to ameet­ing with a cou­ple about be­ing their cel­e­brant this com­ing sum­mer. (If only they’d seen me an hour ear­lier . . . they would be get­ting mar­ried by some­one else for sure).

It was so nice sit­ting there in the sun talk­ing about happy times in MORE sun to come.

Then it­was to the beach near manu Surf Club with some friends for an early ‘fush n chup dun­ner’ . . . where we were promptly re­minded that we had jumped the gun just a smidge . . . It rained as soon as we opened the food. Missed it by that much! But it’s com­ing peo­ple!

Put down the pie (says the guy who was just talk­ing about his fish and chips), give your­self the full shave down, mois­turise that dry vi­ta­min D-lack­ing skin, do some­thing that makes you sweat and pre­pare for an­other glo­ri­ous sum­mer in one of the best parts of the­world!

See you up the Mount . . . I’ll be the overly-breathy, hun­gover blotchy un­cle-look­ing one. Yum.

■ Will Johnston is host of The Hits 95FM Day Show. Live and lo­cal from 9am-3pm, ev­ery week­day in the Bay of Plenty.

A day out in par­adise for Will.

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