Bow­ing out on a high

Bay News - - NEWS -

Well team, it’s been a great three years writ­ing for you, but ev­ery­thing has to come to an end, right? Like, imag­ine if Friends was STILL go­ing . . .

Matt Le Blanc would be still try­ing to be the hot ac­tor and now say­ing “How YOU doin’” to hair dye. Courteney Cox would be run­ning a beauty ther­apy clinic sam­pling her own lip filler treat­ments.

Lisa Kudrow would be the an­gry school head-mis­tress and still play­ing Smelly Cat at assem­bly.

David Sch­wim­mer would be ex­actly the same.

Jen Aniston (I say ‘Jen’ be­cause I be­lieve that we are mates . . . inmy head) would be sell­ing beauty prod­ucts door-todoor and be­lieve in ve­g­an­ism, yoga and liv­ing your best ‘clean liv­ing’ life on In­sta­gram. She’d also live at the Mount.

And Chan­dler . . . well . . . Chan­dler looked over it for the last five years of Friends any­way. I’m think­ing drag queen. (I thinkMatthew Perry is one of the most bril­liant TV co­me­di­ans of the last 50 years, so I’m glad they cut it be­fore it got des­per­ate.)

We are go­ing out on top. We are fin­ish­ing on a high and we are al­ways go­ing to be there in some way. Like the Mad Butcher.

Ok, bad ref­er­ence.

Like hayfever. Worse. Um­m­mmm. . .

Like a finewine! We age well, but in your mem­ory.

And you’ll still get a taste from time to time, be­cause the peo­ple who write for this pa­per pop up in other pub­li­ca­tions and the Bay of Plenty Times. Sowe aren’t re­ally go­ing any­where, we’re just dis­pers­ing!

Like oil from Rena. Oh, um. No. Like ...

The smell of freshly cooked fish and chips in the car as you hur­riedly drive them home.

It’s be an ab­so­lute plea­sure to scrib­ble some thoughts for you over the last few years. I hope I’ve made you laugh, given you a dif­fer­ent per­spec­tive, or at least made you feel hap­pier about the place you live. The BOP com­mu­nity is re­ally top class in lov­ing its peo­ple and pro­mot­ing the things ev­ery­one can get in­volved in. So of­ten the sto­ries in this pa­per have been good news, it’s been re­fresh­ing to read and be a part of!

■ Will John­ston is host of The Hits 95FM Day Show. Live and lo­cal from 9am-3pm, ev­ery week­day in the Bay of Plenty. Fol­lowWill on In­sta­gram to see un­cen­sored and be­hind-thescenes footage at @ra­diow­ill

Me with my neph­ews Nico and Luca.

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