Bowing out on a high
Well team, it’s been a great three years writing for you, but everything has to come to an end, right? Like, imagine if Friends was STILL going . . .
Matt Le Blanc would be still trying to be the hot actor and now saying “How YOU doin’” to hair dye. Courteney Cox would be running a beauty therapy clinic sampling her own lip filler treatments.
Lisa Kudrow would be the angry school head-mistress and still playing Smelly Cat at assembly.
David Schwimmer would be exactly the same.
Jen Aniston (I say ‘Jen’ because I believe that we are mates . . . inmy head) would be selling beauty products door-todoor and believe in veganism, yoga and living your best ‘clean living’ life on Instagram. She’d also live at the Mount.
And Chandler . . . well . . . Chandler looked over it for the last five years of Friends anyway. I’m thinking drag queen. (I thinkMatthew Perry is one of the most brilliant TV comedians of the last 50 years, so I’m glad they cut it before it got desperate.)
We are going out on top. We are finishing on a high and we are always going to be there in some way. Like the Mad Butcher.
Ok, bad reference.
Like hayfever. Worse. Ummmmm. . .
Like a finewine! We age well, but in your memory.
And you’ll still get a taste from time to time, because the people who write for this paper pop up in other publications and the Bay of Plenty Times. Sowe aren’t really going anywhere, we’re just dispersing!
Like oil from Rena. Oh, um. No. Like ...
The smell of freshly cooked fish and chips in the car as you hurriedly drive them home.
It’s be an absolute pleasure to scribble some thoughts for you over the last few years. I hope I’ve made you laugh, given you a different perspective, or at least made you feel happier about the place you live. The BOP community is really top class in loving its people and promoting the things everyone can get involved in. So often the stories in this paper have been good news, it’s been refreshing to read and be a part of!
■ Will Johnston is host of The Hits 95FM Day Show. Live and local from 9am-3pm, every weekday in the Bay of Plenty. FollowWill on Instagram to see uncensored and behind-thescenes footage at @radiowill
Me with my nephews Nico and Luca.