PRIORITISE YOURSELF
How to stay on top of your mental health when you're scant on time and money If you’re feeling low, it’s often suggested that you join the gym, see a therapist, or read a self-help book. But they all involve money and time. So, how do you tackle mental cl
Have boundaries and be assertive to create space for your own needs, which sometimes means saying no and not feeling guilty for doing so.
— Dr Kirsty Ross
WHAT IF TACKLING your mental health started right now, by giving up a mere five minutes. You start by playing your favourite song, then walk outside to your garden.
Stand still, feel the sun on your face, and listen to the birds.
Sit down on the grass and take out your cellphone. Text a friend: “Was just thinking of you.”
These steps are important because big actions won’t always solve your mental health problems, but “mini-breaks” can really make a difference, leading psychologist Dr Kirsty Ross of Massey University
says.
“Doing something that brings you joy — savouring a coffee, soaking in the bath, exercising your brain with a puzzle — is supporting mental health.
“Ask yourself ‘what are my needs in terms of body, mind, spirit and connection?”’
Also allow yourself to experience your emotions, rather than talk yourself out of them.
“Emotions are information that tells you about an unmet need you have,” Ross says.
There’s also good research behind expressing gratitude; altruism (doing something nice for someone else) and thinking about things broader than yourself like working in nature.
“That can give a sense of spiritual connection to the land, but also connecting to your spiritual self is positive — be it
meditation, prayer, or whatever feeds your soul.”
No matter how busy you are, prioritise yourself.
“Have boundaries and be assertive to create space for your own needs, which sometimes means saying no and not feeling guilty for doing so.”
Access free counselling
It also requires you to be brave.
If you feel you need to go and see your GP, do so, even if money is a problem for you.
Dr Anna Rolleston, director of The Centre for Health, says if a person can make it to the doctor, one-onone counselling can be free through a doctor’s referral to the Primary Health Organisation, and there are other avenues the doctor can refer a person to, and medications, that are funded by the system.
Also, check whether your workplace offers an Employee Assistance Programme for confidential and unbiased help.
If getting time off work, or juggling childcare is a problem, there are virtual or phone sessions for health appointments - a positive that has come out of Covid.
If you need help with financing, Budget Advice offers free Zoom appointments at night for those who are working.
Mentors can speak with creditors, negotiate payment plans, source interest-free or low-interest loans, and support you while you get back on your feet.
Rolleston’s general advice is to remember that life has its ups and downs and good mental health is about being okay with that, as opposed to trying to live a perfect
life.
She suggests making a plan of coping mechanisms; learning mindfulness and diaphragmatic breathing techniques, and deleting or regularly limiting access to social media.
“Social media is where everyone puts up the best bits of their lives. It’s not their entire reality, but when we’re down, they make us feel more down for the things we don’t have, or where we want to be.”
Reach out to groups
Tauranga banker Rodney Phillips, 40, says if you’re able to get a referral for free counselling, it’s worth attending and he’s seen positive results of counselling in a family member who learnt self-awareness around their different triggers and developed strategies to help deal with particular feelings.
“The change is just dramatic,” he says.
“The happiness that has been felt now compared to the past is huge, [after] what seems like a relatively small engagement with someone who is qualified to deal with it.”
If you can’t talk to someone qualified, talk to a mate. If you haven’t got a close mate, join a group targeted at your age and interests, like Men’s Shed NZ, many of which provide “honest chat” and are free
to attend.
“Men can be hesitant about going, but as soon as they get there and have that open and frank discussion, it can save their lives.”
Phillips is one of four Pa¯ pa¯ moa pals who recently returned from a 12-day journey travelling 6500km around New Zealand visiting 24 lighthouses, speaking with people, and meeting with community organisations to raise awareness of men’s mental health issues.
The mates, who met through their kids’ daycare, have all had their own brushes with the black dog, and formed a charitable organisation called The Lighthouse Project, which refers both to lighthouses as a metaphorical “shining light” for those with depression, and to the many targeted, and sometimes under-the-radar grassroots organisations that act as the lighthouses of our communities for men in need.
Luke Mcfarlane, 38, along with Matt Tope, 31, Jamie Wilson, 40, and Rodney Phillips called their mission the Sweet? Nah... Find Your Lighthouse Tour in recognition of the dismissive responses men sometimes give while hiding their real emotions.
They’re halfway to achieving a goal of raising $100,000 for local community mental health organisations and charities by the end of May.