Seal training needed to handle this holiday

immediately after another has just been fed and all bread and spreads are safely back in their cupboards.

■ Challenge two. The tramp bounce. At times it will seem like a good idea to find alternative activities for your squadron. Enter the trampoline, which seems like a good idea the first time, but make the game enjoyable enough and you will be asked to spend countless hours with your body on the line as you go another round of “Bucking Bronco”.

■ Challenge three. The I’m thirsty sleep deprivation challenge. At times during the week, you will be exhausted. Longing for the comfort of a nice warm bed and the relief of a good night’s sleep. This won’t happen. Instead, your squadron will rise, at every moment you think of laying down with an issue.

“I’m thirsty,” “I need the toilet,” “I heard a noise” and “I’m hot/cold/something in between” are all things you WILL hear and have to deal with.

Not to mention countless mini challenges. The tears because she took the one thing in the house that I was playing with despite the fact there are a million other things to play with challenge. You’re a terrible person because you won’t buy me the thing from the toy shop we were passing time in challenge. The there is no private bathroom time challenge.

Yes, parents, we have truly made it through Hell in the Home week.

Next school holidays I might just sign up to be a Navy SEAL. It might be easier!

■ Don’t miss Adam Green and Megan Banks on The Hits Hawke’s Bay from 6am to 9am, Monday to Friday.