Update confused and cringeworthy
Review
Home Sweet Home Alone
(PG, 95mins) Directed by DanMazer
★★
Reviewed by James Croot
‘‘Uh, this garbage. I don’t know why they are always trying to remake the classics. They’re never as good as the originals.’’ Athrowaway line early on in this confused and crushingly cringeworthy ‘‘update’’ of the 1990 festive favourite ends up as unerringly accurate and faithfully prophetic rather than ironic.
Controversial take, I know, but Iwas never a fan of the original anyway. Essentially an inferior sequel to Uncle Buck (or a tween version of Risky Business), it lacked the nuance, crowdpleasing characters and
- soundtrack u of John Hughes’ earlier teen comedies such as Pretty in Pink, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and The Breakfast Club,
opting instead for a gloopy mix of precocious eight-year-old antics (Kevin McCallisterwas essentially a live-action version of Bart Simpson) and sentimental schmaltz.
I can see its universal, ongoing appeal, thanks to its well-executed pratfalls and pranks and the underdog triumphing against the bullies (much like a good Tom and Jerry
cartoon), but two-minutes of Macaulay Culkin’s mugging is about all I can stand.
Of course, it not only became the highestgrossing global comedy of 1990 (a yearwhen only two others – Pretty Woman and
Kindergarten Cop – made the overall box-office top 10), it also spawned an infamous Donald Trump cameo in theNew York-set sequel and a trio of knock-off, Culkin-free sequels, before this farrago came along.
What’s particularly egregious about
SaturdayNight Live- alumni Mikey Day and Streeter Seidell’s lamentable story is our temporarily guardian-free moppet isn’t even up against miscreants this time around, simply a down-on-their-luck couple convinced that this ‘‘klepto-kid’’ has stolen an heirloom that might be able to prevent them from having to sell their house.
And to be fair, the potential evidence is there in the first encounter between 10-yearold Max Johan Mercer ( Jojo Rabbit’s scenestealing Archie Yates) and Jeff (Rob Delaney) and Pam McKenzie (Ellie Kemper).
Only visiting their reluctant open home because of an urgent need to expel a build-up of six soda refills, Max hassles Jeff about his ugly dolls and is doubly upset when he won’t give him one of the drinks on display and his exasperated mother Carol (Aisling Bea, sporting an English accent, instead of her usual Irish brogue) subsequently decides a promised visit to the golden arches is off.
His mood darkens even further when they return to 36 Beechtree Lane, where the chaos of assorted relatives awaits. They’ve all gathered for a flight the next day to Japan, but airline difficulties mean they have now been split between two planes. As Carol attempts in vain to sort out a logistical nightmare, Max feels ignored and stomps off to find some peace and quiet on the passenger seat of the garaged BMX.
However, the next morning, in the rush to get everyone to the airport at the right time, his absence fails to be noticed – until it’s too late. Meanwhile, having discovered the internet’s true worth of his doll collection, and, in particular, the factory mistake that is now missing, Jeff is convinced he knows who the culpritwas and sets about tracking him down.
What follows is a series of self-inflicted injuries, as Jeff, eventually joined by Pam, attempt to retrieve their property, which they believe they can clearly see protruding throughMax’s jacket pocket in a prominent window. When the ‘‘joys’’ of sliding on snow and crashing through ice eventually run out, the last half-hour cranks up into full-on boobytrap mode, as Max tries to keep them at bay.
Cue copious snooker balls to the face, plenty of potential Christmas toy product placement and the gratingly repeated use of thewrong plural for Lego. But even that won’t prepare you for the truly nonsensical horrors of the contrived flip-flop of the last few minutes.
As awriter, Dan Mazer has helped create some of the most anarchic comedies of the 21st century while working with Sacha Baron Cohen, as a director, he’s only managed middling rom-com I Give It a Year and the awful Dirty Grandpa.
This uninspired effort (which actually feels like the producers wanted a Home Alone- meetsNational Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
remake starring the kid from A Christmas Story) represents another black mark, as it raisesmore questions than answers.
Why does the promised snowpocalypse never arrive? Why does no one at Chicago airport query why the Mercer party is one light? Andwho greenlit this travesty?
❚ Home Sweet Home Alone is now available to stream on Disney+.