Couple’s zeal to change lives
Mike Ngahuka speaks of helping to change lives of former criminals and those affected by drugs and violence
Mike Ngahuka and his wife Jewel are proud of the men and women who have turned their lives around thanks to Man Up and Legacy. The Destiny Church-run programmes are helping to turn hundreds of people away from gangs and drugs.
Man Up’s aim is to “strengthen men to become better fathers, husbands and leaders in their homes and community”.
Legacy is the female version and there are also youth programmes — Boys to Men and Legacy Diamonds.
Mike, who is general for Man Up in Hawke’s Bay and Gisborne, says they go to where people need help and “unfortunately that is in low socio-economic communities where many Ma¯ori and indigenous people live”.
“We certainly don’t target these people but these are some of the people at the bottom of the barrel and they need a hand up,” Mike said.
“It gives me goose bumps listening to some of the stories and seeing how people have changed their lives. They have left the gangs and stopped taking drugs.
“I’m not telling you this to try and be a star but I have also helped prevent suicide attempts. I had to use a bit of tough love. I said I didn’t want to be the last person they spoke to — I told them I didn’t want that on my conscience. I said you come with me — and they reached out to me.
“And that’s what’s it’s about — it’s not about hardening up it’s about opening up.
“Most of these people have never talked about their childhood or the reason they turned to drugs, gangs and violence. Sharing their story can be so healing.
“We have lots of couples attending. Usually the woman will go to a Legacy meeting and then tell her man he needs to go to a Man Up meeting and suddenly they are talking about things they never have before.
“People talk about domestic violence — where did it come from? — they build relationships and walk away from violence drugs, alcohol, gambling.
“We are raising fathers to save our children.”
Mike says he had bad stuff happen to him when he was young.
“My mum hooked up with a mobster. We lead a transient lifestyle and there was drugs, alcohol and violence. I hated my mum for letting this person abuse her and I hated my father for running away and leaving me there. He should have been there to protect us both.
“Fast forward many years — it was eating me up. Then five years ago I went to America and met up with my dad, who I hadn’t seen since I was 7. We made our peace.”
Mike had reworked his life in order to spend more time with Man Up. “I work night shift now so I can take all the calls and texts I get and give them the attention they deserve.”
Although the programmes are church-run Mike says not everyone joins the church.
“Some people don’t finish the course, either. They just aren’t ready. Some come back after two or three years — the door is always open.”
There are four parts to the Man Up programme. The first deals with drugs and alcohol, the second is ‘‘hear my heart’’ — delving into a troubled and broken heart and learning forgiveness.
The third deals with strength and the ‘‘running man” — dads who have babies then run away.
And the last is about your identity — who you are and what your purpose is.
“Lots of men come in and sit with