Weekly column

Don’t miss Adam Green and Megan Banks on The Hits Hawke’s Bay from 6am to 9am, Monday to Friday

Just when I thought we could clean out the fire, and put the pot plants back on top of it, Saturday sent us into a bit of spin. It was cold! And if there’s one thing my better half loves to do to prove his caveman ability, it’s to light a fire. So after working on Saturday, I came home to the fire blaring and I must admit it was rather nice. I didn’t think we had any firewood left, so goodness only knows what he was burning, but ours is not to question why, ours is just to bask in the warmth. Fast forward through this week and my co-host Adam has been reeling off the weather each morning with the authority of Jim Hickey, delighting in the news that Hawke’s Bay could get to 30C tomorrow!

Hot weather means less clothes which means those winter legs, underarms and other bits and bobs could possibly be on display again.

I love summer, but I love winter clothes. You can cover up everything you don’t like about yourself. Your puffy knees, the cellulite on your ankles (how is that even possible) your bat wings on your arms, and your pasty white complexion.

You can also cover up the fact that you grow any kind of body hair. Adam has suggested I get the Weed Wacker out but I broke the coil on that last time I used it on my legs . . . so it’s back to a razor that’s rusty and some fake tan.

My colleague Hena — who is always resplendently glamorous — assures me you need to also purchase a fake tan mitten that covers your hand, applies your fake tan evenly and also acts as an exfoliant. It also means the palms on your hands don’t go orange. I have the fake tan, but I don’t have the mitt. I do however have a goldilocks scourer pad which I’m hoping will do the same thing.

So if on Thursday you see me walking around with my shorts on, getting the legs out in the 30C heat, but with orange scars down my legs, you’ll know why . . . but at least you won’t be looking at my cankles.