Golf feels like a dying sport
As the British Open golf hopes of Kiwis Ryan Fox and Michael Hendry died in Royal Birkdale’s blustery winds, it was hard not to wonder if we were watching a dying sport.
Professional golf is in rude health but golf as a sport/pastime has wellpublicised problems — dwindling memberships worldwide (except Asia), course closures and pressure on courses for community reasons (such as Auckland’s Chamberlain Park, now heading to court with protesters battling to stave off plans to reduce it to nine holes and use it for other purposes).
Golf, they say, is too expensive, too exclusive and too slow. The stuffiness of many top golf clubs, perceived colour, religious and gender discrimination at some, elitism and the embrace of all that is conservative and traditional makes it easy to see why golf is not appealing significantly to minorities and young people — surely the future of a sport struggling to sign members under 45.
Worse, we have just seen an illjudged brain barf by one of golf’s few bright spots — women’s golf, growing in popularity largely through the efforts of the Ladies’ Professional Golf Association. In an extraordinarily self-defeating pronouncement, the LPGA effectively castigated its own professionals for wearing revealing clothing and set new rules.
The LPGA email, using capital letters as if the women had been naughty children, said: “Plunging necklines are NOT allowed. Leggings, unless under a skort or shorts, are NOT allowed. Length of skirt, skort, and shorts MUST be long enough to not see your bottom area (even if covered by under shorts) at any time, standing or bent over. Joggers are NOT allowed.”
Way to help kill a sport. I mean, God help us if anyone sees your bottom area. What exactly is a bottom area? No, never mind . . .
The LPGA’s timing was even weirder, coming as it did not long after US President Donald Trump turned up at the recent US Women’s Open tournament (held at one of his courses), annoying everyone by soaking up all the attention at a comparatively sparsely-attended major.
Still, if the LPGA had gone the whole hog and ordered their golfers to dress in head-to-foot sacks and Hillary Clinton masks, they would at least be protecting them from one danger: the President would be unlikely to be able to grab them “by the pussy”, as he so eloquently put it in the Access Hollywood tape that came to light last year.
And this from a man for whom 53 per cent of white American women voted. Only in the US of A, folks.
While the golfing and conservative establishment often seem to be doing their best to go down with the ship, clinging to their entitlement, there are some thoughtful moves being made to make golf more relevant.
They are sorely needed. In New Zealand, golf courses generally are massively more friendly and accessible than other parts of the world.
But it is equally true beginners find many clubs intimidating. Any novice who has stood on a busy tee, acutely aware of their own incompetence and feeling the laser gaze of a queue of waiting golfers knows what I mean.
New Zealand is also not immune from golfing snobbery. My first wife was sent home from a relatively ordinary course in Auckland by an officious woman because she was wearing a sleeveless top. It was tasteful and she was otherwise perfectly well attired. She never returned to golf.
In May, European golf trialled a new format called Golf Sixes. Teams of two from 16 countries played six holes, some with real departures from golf’s laws; one hole had a long drive element to it, another enforced a 40-second minimum on shots.
It seemed popular and a possibility for marketing, ala T20 cricket. The first round was all over in an hour and a tournament could be played in a weekend, solving the problem that many people find golf too long and too slow to watch, let alone play, in today’s instant gratification world.
But maybe the Topgolf experience holds out the best hope for attracting young people — many of whom can’t even watch golf on TV because it is often the preserve of pay TV.
Topgolf is like a giant driving range but players aim their ball at coloured targets in team or individual competition. A microchip embedded in the ball scores each shot according to where it lands.
There are indoor versions too, with simulators, and all come with food and drink menus and comfortable surroundings — so it is like going to a bar but with something fun to do other than drink.
Topgolf is proving popular — 30 locations in the US, with 13 more on the way there and Mexico, three in the UK and one planned for the Gold Coast. It is doing what golf clubs can’t — attract young people to the game — and may yet affect the parent game.
Now all we need to do is get rid of Trump.
God help us if anyone sees your bottom area. What exactly is a bottom area? No, never mind . . .