Dad dies month after son’s birth
Couple hold wedding in hospital two days before his death
The person Scottie always was — cancer or no cancer — was that vibrancy and love, and just a really, really decent person who wanted the best for everyone. Kirsty Mitchell
Arecently widowed new mum says more than $50,000 raised by her “village” will give her 5-weekold son the life his father wished for.
Aucklander Kirsty Mitchell lost her husband and best friend Scottie to bowel cancer earlier this month, two days after they were married in Middlemore Hospital, and a month after the birth of their son Harrison.
In the week since, tens of thousands of dollars have been raised for the Mitchells through a Givealittle page set up by Scottie’s childhood friend Ben Watson.
Mitchell said the generosity had been overwhelming.
“Scottie and I had to have some pretty on-the-nose conversations towards the end, with the advanced care planning, and there was one question that asked ‘what worries you’,” she said.
“Even though it was supposed to be about him and his pain, the thing that was going to hurt him the most was that I wasn’t going to be able to look after Harrison.”
Described as a “kid to the end”, a lover of music and football, and a loyal friend, Scottie Mitchell was diagnosed with stage four bowel cancer at 34 in November 2018.
“The person Scottie always was — cancer or no cancer — was that vibrancy and love, and just a really, really decent person who wanted the best for everyone.”
As Scottie’s treatment progressed, Watson said the couple had always turned down offers for help, even though the financial burden and sacrifice was “unbelievable”.
Even with health insurance, and selling her house in Australia, Mitchell said the cost of treatment was huge.
“In the last six months I think we’ve paid in excess of $50,000 and we’ve been doing this fight for two and a half years,” she said.
She said cancer was a tough road for any family, but it was not fair that money should make the difference.
Along Scottie’s cancer journey they had met other patients who had been forced to make devastating choices because of the high cost of unfunded treatments, and hoped changes to the health system would address such inequities.
“The whole point of western health and medicine is that we look after everybody and everyone gets a fair shake. And cancer is not that in New Zealand.”
With her family in Australia and the UK, Kirsty was glad for the support of her “village” in New Zealand, especially over the past few months.
On the day their son was due, the couple were told Scottie’s treatment was no longer working.
“On that same day they told us we should be induced to bring Harrison into the world sooner rather than later,” Kirsty said.
She was grateful Scottie had been around for his son’s first month, and had got to hold, bathe and feed him.
The couple had been engaged since December 2020, holding off on a wedding throughout the pandemic in the hope Kirsty’s family overseas could attend.
But as Scottie’s condition worsened, hospital staff had encouraged the pair to do what was most important to them, and they planned a wedding for Sunday, July 4.
On Friday morning, Kirsty realised Sunday might not be soon enough.
Kirsty and Scottie were married in Middlemore Hospital on Friday night.
Friends decorated the ward with flowers and balloons, brought five dresses for Kirsty to try, and the rings were resized within hours.
“I got to marry my best friend . . . it was an amazing day.”