When guardians disagree on vaccination

Q I am the main caregiver of our granddaughter and an additional guardian. My daughter and I disagree as to whether my granddaughter should be vaccinated. How do we resolve this issue?

A This is obviously a very hard issue for your extended family. I urge you to gain as much information and support as possible to come to an agreement.

If you and your daughter continue to disagree, there are a variety of options which I have discussed before in this column. Vaccination and other health decisions can be a polarising issue among parents and guardians and children need not be drawn into the debate.

This is a guardianship issue on which the child’s guardians (Mum, Dad, you and any additional guardians) need to consult and endeavour to agree on as you would with any other guardianship issue. One option is to have a family meeting with a third party such as a relative or member of your church to chair and discuss what is best for your granddaughter.

Mediation

Mediation is the process where an independent person will assist you in reaching agreement. You could refer the matter to Family Dispute Resolution. FDR is a special type of mediation for helping separating families to come to agreement — and either of the providers being Fair Way Resolution Limited or the Solutions For Family Conflict — Family Disputes Resolution Centre (fdrc.co.nz) may be able to help you.

A mediator is appointed to chair the face-to-face or video meeting with any areas of dispute between you . The process may be subsidised by the government and is normally completed within two months.

Since the start of the pandemic, mediators have found that many people prefer video call mediations via Zoom or MS Team as opposed to in-person mediations, which take longer to hold and convene.

For almost all issues, mediation is a very good option to resolve matters. It is very challenging to reach agreement on vaccination. I consider this because parents and guardians tend to hold firm views.

Family Court

There are many reasons not to go to court over the vaccine issue including the cost, time, and harm to relationships. If mediation is unsuccessful, the issue may end up in the Family Court. As the vaccine is a guardianship issue, in the absence of agreement, Family Court can come to a decision on this dispute. One party will need to apply to the court, and all guardians will be entitled to be heard. Court proceedings are the last resort in resolution and could take anywhere between 9 and 12 months for a judge to make a final decision. Based on my experience, some cases can take between 18 months to 21⁄2 years. Once proceedings are before the court, parents and guardians can still attend private mediation and settle their dispute outside of the court process.

Lawyer for child

If any party filed court documents in the Family Court, a lawyer for your daughter may be appointed. The role of the lawyer for child is to obtain your granddaughter’s views and provide a report for the Judge.

Summary

Whether your granddaughter is vaccinated is a guardianship decision in the same way that decisions regarding schooling are and have similar options for resolution. You, your daughter, and her father are all guardians, and it is wise to attempt to come to an agreement yourselves but there are options to help. The sooner you can agree on a pathway the better for your grandchild. Good luck.