Understanding anxiety to dissolve your fears

Have you noticed that this word — anxiety — is increasingly used around you?

What’s happening? Do our modern lives produce more anxiety or are we just using the word more often? Regardless, the thing to beware of is that we just might be skipping over the real stuff by using this word. We just might be not getting to the real problem.

You might say…that’s rubbish! “I feel anxious, and it’s real”. Well, I know it is real but it’s also not real, because….what does it really mean? There is no substance to this word. It gets bandied about…this person is anxious, this child is anxious…..I feel anxious about….

Let me explain. Anxiety is like ignoring the real feeling. When we analyse and think round in circles in our head we are avoiding the emotion. It sometimes seems like the thoughts are creating the anxiety and the feelings but really the thoughts distract us from truly feeling. And the thoughts keep us in that spot and don’t let us move on.

When you think you feel anxious, stop and consider what emotion is underlying it. There is likely to be confusion and unidentifiable feelings and this is normal. It means that an emotion is trying to emerge. It will most likely to be fear. And just fear. Not fear of anything, just fear. No reason, no justification, just fear. Often we think we shouldn’t feel fear if there is no reason for it….but we can. This is the key to feeling less anxious. Let yourself feel fear in your body, with no analysing why it is there. Ask yourself, where in my body do I feel it most strongly and be aware of feeling it there. By being aware of this feeling in your body, it will often dissolve.

We try and avoid those emotions we define as negative….such as fear, anger, rage, hopelessness. We are scared of them. We cover them up by anxious thoughts and then make ourselves feel even worse. The anxious thoughts keep recurring because our minds are very good at doubting and being negative. And we are scared of our feelings because we don’t know what we will do with them. We might get out of control! I suggest that you let yourself feel inside your body. It is not about acting out the emotion or even expressing it. Just feel in your body.

And please know that all emotions are valid. No-one can tell you that you shouldn’t feel how you feel. Whatever you feel is right for you. So just know this. Give yourself permission to feel. Show yourself some compassion. When next you feel anxious, just take a moment for yourself. Stop. Take two deep slow breaths and let your body feel the emotion. Honour you by respecting your feelings.